IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Governments should be responsible for promoting renewable energy sources, while others believe that individuals and private companies should play a larger role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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People
Use synonyms
 around the world are using non-renewable minerals which are limited and these cannot be renewed easily .
Therefore
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 it is important for consumers to use renewable
energy
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 for their sustainability . Some
individuals
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thought
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
 that it is
duty
Add an article
the duty
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 of the regime to promote renewable
sources
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 ,
while
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other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 believe that private firms or local
people
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 can contribute much as compared to
policy makers
Correct your spelling
policymakers
show examples
.
This
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 essay will discuss both views with suitable arguments. To start with, there are various
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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 why some
propents
Correct your spelling
proponents
 have a belief that
people
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 will only use
energy
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sources
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 like sunlight,
air
Correct word choice
and air
show examples
. if it is promoted by
government
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the government
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.
In other words
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, to install these devices a huge capital is needed which
is
Verb problem
makes it
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 hard for common
people
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 to invest
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 these things.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
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 should
provides
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provide
show examples
 loans and huge discounts depending on
per
Correct article usage
the per
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 capita income of
individuals
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 which will help them to think about
this
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 positive change.
For example
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 : In India, most
of
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apply
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folks are now shifting
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 these easily renewned
energy
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sources
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 because of help from authority.
On the other hand
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 , it is
also
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 important for
individuals
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 and private
enterprize
Correct your spelling
enterprises
 to be
awared
Correct your spelling
aware
 of
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
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 of these
energy
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sources
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 . As they are major consumers ,
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 willingness or unwillingness will affect
this
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 change significantly. In
details
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detail
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, many
individuals
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 showed interest in electric vehicles
instead
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 of
motocycles
Correct your spelling
motorcycles
 as they are
also
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 contributing to
save
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saving
show examples
energy
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 and
also
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 environment.
Therefore
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, burning fuel releases some carbon which will
then
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 mix with air and
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
air
Correct article usage
the air
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 quality index lower. In conclusion, It is important to implement these changes which will contribute
positivily
Correct your spelling
positively
for
Change preposition
to
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 human beings.
However
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,
government
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the government
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 will play a crucial role in promoting these
sources
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byprovifing
Correct your spelling
by providing
providing
 funds and having public campaigns . but,
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 can support
this
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 by installing solar panels, electric bikes and many more things.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your points are clearly connected to the prompt and the argument you're making. There are some parts where your ideas could be expanded or more directly tied back to the thesis.
Language Use
Be mindful of spelling and grammatical errors as they can detract from the clarity of your argument. Proofreading your essay can help catch these before submission.
Task Achievement
While you mentioned some examples, you could further elaborate on how individuals and companies can impact renewable energy adoption to strengthen your argument.
Content
Your essay presents a clear understanding of the topic and discusses both views with relevant arguments.
Organization
You made a good attempt at structuring your essay into clear paragraphs, enhancing readability.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • renewable energy
  • government intervention
  • infrastructure
  • funding
  • financial viability
  • consumer choices
  • sustainability
  • innovation
  • market competition
  • policies and incentives
  • private sector
  • grassroots initiatives
  • environmental impact
  • energy transition
What to do next:
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