Today children are spending much more time watching TV compared to the past. Why do you think this happens? Is this a positive or a negative change?

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Nowadays, more and more
children
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spend a substantial amount of
time
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on
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apply
show examples
watching
Televison
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television
in comparison to the past years.
This
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is primarily
due to
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advancement
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advancements
show examples
in technology, and I believe it is a positive development
,
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apply
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because it is educational and
promte
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promote
promotes
creativity.
To begin
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with, it is considered that
children
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spend most of their
time
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on
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apply
show examples
watching
TV
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recently
due to
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technological advancement. Unlike the past era, most activities are
digitalize
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digitalised
show examples
, which
encourage
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encourages
show examples
screen
time
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in
children
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.
For instance
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, an average modern household has a Television,
compare
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compared
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to
few
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a few
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decades ago, which makes it easier for
children
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to develop
interest
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an interest
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in watching
TV
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.
Moreover
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, there are more interesting
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children
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children's
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shows in today's
TV
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stations that foster their interest
compare
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compared
show examples
to the past when most content broadcasted
are
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is
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news related. One of the major
reason
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reasons
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I consider
this
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a positive change is because of the educative content displayed
in
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on
show examples
TVs
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TV
show examples
.
Although
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some may argue about the excess level of screen
time
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, which
i
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I
show examples
believe can be easily controlled by
adult
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adults
show examples
,
children
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of
nowadays
Correct your spelling
today
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tend to learn more visually than
theoritical
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theoretically
,
therefore
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, some streaming apps
such
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as YouTube and Du offer them
with
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apply
show examples
that opportunity.
For example
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, in the past years, the alphabet
were
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was
show examples
usually learnt in school,
due to
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lack
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a lack
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of visual shows that
illustrates
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illustrate
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such
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contents, or in
limited
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a limited
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range.
However
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, recently,
pre-schoolers
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preschool
show examples
children
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are
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have been
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able to recite the alphabet easily.
Moreover
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, watching
TV
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foster
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fosters
show examples
imagination and creativity skills, which are beneficial in modern society.
Therefore
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, watching
TV
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is crucial for the younger generation. In conclusion, The rising level at which
children
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watch television is
due to
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advancement
Correct article usage
the advancement
show examples
of technology, which
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
think is advantageous because it is educative and
promote
Correct subject-verb agreement
promotes
show examples
their learning ability.
Thus
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, a balance between screen
time
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and other school activities should
be strike
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be struck
show examples
in order to maintain a well-rounded society.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint. However, consider adding a brief outline of the main points you will discuss to give the reader a clearer roadmap of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The overall structure of your essay is good, but the transitions between some sentences or ideas could be smoother. Use linking words more frequently to connect your ideas and improve flow.
task achievement
Some of your points could be better supported with more specific examples or data. For instance, when you mention advancements in technology, specify how different types of media or content have changed.
task achievement
You effectively express your opinion on the topic and developed a clear argument for why children's screen time can be positive.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples that support your points, particularly regarding educational content and learning through visual media.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • screen time
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • educational content
  • entertainment
  • relaxation
  • physical activity
  • cultural exposure
  • mental health
  • visual skills
  • auditory skills
  • advertisements
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