some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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While
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some believe that encouraging
children
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to compete with each other yields better results, others
are
Verb problem
believe
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at
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that
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teaching
corporation
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corporations
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will lead them to become useful adults in the
future
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.
This
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essay discusses both viewpoints and
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
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the stronger role of the cooperative approach. Some people say that teaching
children
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to
Change preposition
apply
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a competitive mentality results by informing their
future
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success
this
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is because they get the motivation to reach
a
Correct article usage
apply
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particular results.
Hence
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they push themselves to the limits and perform better than before.
For instance
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, a high school in France
stated
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started
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to hang
students
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students'
student's
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weekly exam notes on a bulletin in a corridor, which helped all these students enter highly-ranked colleges in later years.
Additionally
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, teaching a competitive manner in young individuals, trains their
brain
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brains
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to work more vigorously, and
this
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prepares a more hard-working workforce for the
future
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. On the
flipside
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flipside,
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others argue that if the youth get educated toward a cooperative personality, they will be more useful in their
future
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careers. I believe
this
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approach is likely to be more practical because today many jobs are interconnected with each other.
For example
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, in the healthcare setting nurses and doctors work together to reach desired patient care and
this
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collaborative manner should be nurtured from a young age. In conclusion, one group of people believe that encouraging
children
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to get a sense of competition leads to a more hard-working workforce in the
future
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.
However
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, others including me believe
children
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who are taught to be cooperative, will bring about a more useful and
collaborating
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collaborative
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character in certain films,
such
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as healthcare settings, and team sports.
Hence
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, teaching cooperation skills to
children
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is a more vital step to be taken.

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language
Ensure clarity and correct spelling in terms like 'cooperation' and 'corporate'. This will enhance your essay's professionalism.
structure
Rephrase sentences that have awkward structures to improve flow, such as 'this is because they get the motivation to reach a particular results.'
content
Provide more concrete examples or elaborate further on the points made to ensure they are fully explained.
argumentation
You present both sides of the argument well, showing a balanced perspective on the issue.
summary
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint and reiterates the key points discussed.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • compete
  • cooperate
  • useful
  • adults
  • skills
  • motivation
  • drive
  • resilience
  • failure
  • workplace
  • empathy
  • social skills
  • reduce
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balanced
  • approach
  • ideal
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