IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Line Graph Question: Eating sweet foods produces acid in the mouth, which can cause tooth decay. (High acid levels are measured by low pH values) ] Line Graph - Acid in mouth from consumption of sugar and honey

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The line graph illustrates the consumption of sweeteners and how the
pH
Use synonyms
 level of the oral cavity changes over time after consuming these. A
pH
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 below 5.5 increases the chance of tooth decay.
Overall
Linking Words
, cane
sugar
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 causes the most significant drop in
pH
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 and makes it harmful to teeth.
Whereas
Linking Words
, honey has the mildest decline in
pH
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 level and quickly recovers to neutral
pH
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. It is seen from the graph that the initial
pH
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 is 7 and after consumption of cane
sugar
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 decreases to 3.5 within 5
minutes
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, remains at
this
Linking Words
 for about 30
minutes
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 which is the highest risk for tooth decay. Fruit
sugar
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 lowers the
pH
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, it reduces to 4.3 after 5
minutes
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 and below 5.5 for about 20
minutes
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, honey causes a gentler decline to 4.7 and stays in the danger zone only for 13
minutes
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 before the
pH
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 rises back to above 5.5. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 all sweet substances have
pH
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 levels and can harm teeth, cane
sugar
Use synonyms
 has the most detrimental effect, and honey is the least damaging

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task achievement
Consider including more detailed comparisons between the substances, particularly how long each one remains in the danger zone and in what specific ways that affects dental health.
coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance the flow of the essay by using linking words or phrases to connect your ideas smoothly, especially when transitioning between the different sweeteners.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a solid introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Good use of specific data (e.g., pH levels) to support your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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