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Writing Samples
Band 4

The line graph illustrates the data about production ranges of 3 important different types of fuels in United kingdom over 19 years.

The line graph illustrates the data about production ranges of 3 important different types of fuels in United kingdom over 19 years.
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The data demonstrates the
production
Use synonyms
 levels of the main
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of fuels in the UK from 1981 to 2000.
overall
Linking Words
 ,
Use synonyms
output
Add an article
the output
show examples
level
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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natural gas has increased drastically
in contrast
Linking Words
 with
petroleum
Use synonyms
 and coal . There is a high fluctuation in
fuels
Change the noun form
fuel
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output
Use synonyms
 of
petroleum
Use synonyms
 .
However
Linking Words
 , the
level
Use synonyms
 of fuel
production
Use synonyms
 of coal has declined
from
Change preposition
since
show examples
1986s
Correct your spelling
1986
 and
no
Add a missing verb
has no
show examples
 improvement till
2000s
Change the article
the 2000s
show examples
. As per the data , the
petroleum
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
level
Use synonyms
 has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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gradually decreased from the year approximately 1986s to approximately 1991s but since
then
Linking Words
 there
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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 a gradual improvement till approximately 2000s.
However
Linking Words
 , the yield of coal
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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decreased dramatically between
years
Use synonyms
 approximately 1982 to 1984 and
then
Linking Words
 it
has
Wrong verb form
had
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 a growth which didn't even
last
Linking Words
 for more than
2years
Correct your spelling
2 years
.
In contrast
Linking Words
 , with
petroleum
Use synonyms
 and coal yield levels the
output
Use synonyms
level
Use synonyms
has
Verb problem
was
show examples
 relatively stable until approx.1991 and
then
Linking Words
 gradually improved over the
years
Use synonyms
 .Even though it has downfall in between
years
Use synonyms
 natural gas still picked up with the
output
Use synonyms
level
Use synonyms
 of
production
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
 , the yield of natural gas has consistently increased in
comparision
Correct your spelling
comparison
 with other fuels.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, in contrast".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words production, output, level, petroleum, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "improvement" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 3 times.
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