IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You rented a car from Car Rental Company. The air conditioner has stopped working. You phoned the company a week ago but it still has not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter – introduce yourself – explain the situation – say what action you would like the company to take

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Dear Sir, My name is Sam. I am your new customer. I am
resident
Correct article usage
a resident
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 of Bampton
city
Capitalize word
City
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. Recently, I rented a car from your company. The Model of
this
Linking Words
 vehicle is
Honda
Correct article usage
the Honda
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 Civic, model 2020. The first two days everything was working
good
Change the adjective
well
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 for me. But slowly, I noticed that
air
Correct article usage
the air
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 conditioner
stop
Wrong verb form
stopped
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 working
because
Correct word choice
and because
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 of
this
Linking Words
 I suffered
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 during my travel. Not only
this
Linking Words
, you know that now summer is
on
Change preposition
at
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 high point so humidity increases day by day.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, I have
young
Add an article
a young
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 baby in my family who can not
tolrate
Correct your spelling
tolerate
 heat. Not only
this
Linking Words
, AC is the main requirement in cars nowadays.
Do
Verb problem
Would
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 you please provide service as soon as possible? There are some steps to tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem. The first one can you please change the car.
Otherwise
Linking Words
 please repair the air conditioner in the certain time period, so I can enjoy my experience with your company. Hoping for the prompt action. Yours Faithfully, Sam

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task achievement
Consider providing more details about your rental agreement, such as the rental dates, to give context about your experience.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and maintain this focus throughout to improve coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Start with a clearer introduction of your issue, including the specific problem and urgency in your opening lines to capture attention.
suitable writing tone
Your friendly tone is appropriate for a letter to a rental company, creating a good rapport with the reader.
complete response
You effectively express the urgency of the situation, especially considering the heat and having a young child in your family.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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