IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

"Many people believe that the government should invest more in public transportation to reduce traffic congestion and air pollution. Others argue that individuals should take more responsibility for their own transportation needs and that the government should not spend more on public transportation. What is your opinion? Discuss both views and give your own perspective." This prompt asks you to explore both sides of the argument and then express your own opinion on the topic.

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Most citizens of one country believe that in order to address the issue of traffic and have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quality air
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
sorrounding
Correct your spelling
surrounding
 is should be the focus by
government
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
While
Correct word choice
On
show examples
on the other hand
Linking Words
, people argue that every citizen should
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
 responsible
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
his
her
show examples
 own
transportation
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will cover the discussion on both ideas and provide my own opinion. It is the work of every
government
Use synonyms
 to provide
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
safe and quickest
transportation
Use synonyms
 to its
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 and to bring the
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 lifestyle in harmony. In order to achieve
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
clean and safe
transportation
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should invest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 railways,trams and bullet trains.In
this
Linking Words
way
Add a comma
way,
show examples
 traffic jams will be avoided especially during rush hour. Trains and
tram
Fix the agreement mistake
trams
show examples
 are the best
option
Change the noun form
options
show examples
 to tackle the issue of
conggestion
Correct your spelling
congestion
 because it has
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own path and doesn't need to go with cars.It
also
Linking Words
povide
Correct your spelling
provide
provides
 commuters safe and fast travel
as well as
Linking Words
 it can load a large volume of passengers in one go.Aside from fast
travel
Add a comma
travel,
show examples
 it doesn't affect much on air pollution.It
also
Linking Words
 makes goods and
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 travel to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
distination
Correct your spelling
destination
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
rigth
Correct your spelling
right
 time which means a boost to the country's economy .
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people think that it is the duty of
individual
Add an article
the individual
an individual
show examples
 to provide
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
his
her
show examples
 own
transportation
Use synonyms
 and not put the burden
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
government
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
these approach
Change the determiner
this approach
these approaches
show examples
 will just
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 road
conggestion
Correct your spelling
consumption
worst
Correct word choice
worse
show examples
 In a way that
volume
Correct article usage
the volume
show examples
 of cars
grow
Correct subject-verb agreement
grows
show examples
 but access to roads
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 limited. Aside from that,
emmission
Correct your spelling
emission
emissions
 from cars will worsen ozone problems.
Although
Linking Words
 having
own
Correct pronoun usage
your own
show examples
 car is good because you can control your time and privacy,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
 it has a great impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the public. In conclusion, to achieve a good flow of traffic and to gain clean
sorrounding
Correct your spelling
surroundings
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is the duty of both
government
Use synonyms
 and its citizens.
Government
Use synonyms
 should provide its own citizens
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
more
accessable tranportation
Correct your spelling
accessible transportation
 and wider roads.People should
also
Linking Words
 balance
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 usage
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own car.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and develops it thoroughly.
language
Use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates awareness of both sides of the argument, which is essential for a balanced discussion.
task achievement
The points raised about the benefits of public transportation were relevant and could be developed further.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Traffic congestion
  • Air pollution
  • Sustainable
  • Infrastructure
  • Carpooling
  • Emission reduction
  • Public transit
  • Economic growth
  • Ride-sharing
  • Efficiency
  • Accessibility
  • Lower-income residents
  • Shift from private vehicles
  • Job creation
  • Technological advancements
  • Incentivize
  • Feasible
  • Reliable
  • Viable
  • Alleviate
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