IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram on the right illustrates a system designed by the Ancient Romans to heat the bathroom in a villa. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram on the right illustrates a system designed by the Ancient Romans to heat the bathroom in a villa. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The diagram illustrates how
bathroom
Correct article usage
the bathroom
show examples
 heating system of Ancient Romans
were
Change the verb form
was
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 designed. It shows how the
water
Use synonyms
 tank, oven and brick structures were working and the importance of it in the
water
Use synonyms
 heating process.
First
Change the article
The first
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 step of the process is about the
water
Use synonyms
 tank. Originally, it was filled by aqueducts.
Then
Linking Words
water
Use synonyms
 was
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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transferred to the bath by pipes, which were going above the oven so
liquid
Add an article
the liquid
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 could heat up there. The oven itself was located under the room, which defines why bathrooms were lifted above the ground and standing on brick pillars. Bathrooms were built from stone blocks and bricks. It was made like
this
Linking Words
 because the latter material holds warmth longer
due to
Linking Words
 its peculiar structure. That’s why Ancient Romans were building upper including arches with bricks Once people finished bathing and left the bathroom, the steam was transformed into
condensate
Replace the word
condensation
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 and naturally let the room cool down because of it.

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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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