IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

"Many people believe that the government should invest more in public transportation to reduce traffic congestion and air pollution. Others argue that individuals should take more responsibility for their own transportation needs and that the government should not spend more on public transportation. What is your opinion? Discuss both views and give your own perspective." This prompt asks you to explore both sides of the argument and then express your own opinion on the topic.

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As the population grows, pollution and traffic congestion have become major concerns. Some people believe that the
government
Use synonyms
 should invest in public
transportation
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,
such
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 as buses and trains, to address these issues. Others argue that
individuals
Use synonyms
 should take responsibility for their own
transportation
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instead
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 of relying on
government
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 support.
This
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 essay will discuss both views before presenting my perspective. On one hand, investing in public
transportation
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 offers several benefits. Many people depend on buses and trains for daily commuting, as these options are more affordable and convenient than owning a private vehicle.
Additionally
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, public transport helps reduce traffic congestion and lowers carbon emissions. If more
individuals
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 used public transit
instead
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 of private cars, air pollution would decrease significantly, leading to a healthier environment.
Therefore
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, improving public
transportation
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 infrastructure can enhance both environmental sustainability and urban mobility.
On the other hand
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, some argue that the
government
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 should prioritize other essential sectors
such
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 as healthcare and education. Public
transportation
Use synonyms
 requires significant investment, and some believe that
individuals
Use synonyms
 should take responsibility for their own travel needs. Carpooling and ride-sharing services,
for example
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, provide alternative solutions for reducing pollution and traffic without requiring large-scale
government
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 spending.
Moreover
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, in some countries, middle-class families find owning a private car unaffordable, making public transport their only option.
While
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 public transit is important, the
government
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 must balance its budget across multiple sectors. In conclusion,
while
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 some believe
individuals
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 should take responsibility for
transportation
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, I believe the
government
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 should invest in public transport. It is a cost-effective and environmentally friendly solution that benefits society as a whole.
However
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, a balanced approach is necessary to ensure other sectors
also
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 receive adequate funding

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure and progression of ideas, making it easy to follow. You effectively outline both sides of the argument before presenting your opinion.
task achievement
While your main points are generally supported, consider adding specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments. This could include statistics about public transport usage or pollution reduction figures.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction presents the topic well, but you could enhance it further by specifying which side of the argument you lean towards at the end of that paragraph. This helps set clear expectations for your opinion.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument before articulating your stance, which is commendable.
coherence and cohesion
Your use of clear topic sentences helps to guide the reader through your points, enhancing the overall clarity of the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Traffic congestion
  • Air pollution
  • Sustainable
  • Infrastructure
  • Carpooling
  • Emission reduction
  • Public transit
  • Economic growth
  • Ride-sharing
  • Efficiency
  • Accessibility
  • Lower-income residents
  • Shift from private vehicles
  • Job creation
  • Technological advancements
  • Incentivize
  • Feasible
  • Reliable
  • Viable
  • Alleviate
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