IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Remote work benefits employees more than employers. Agree or disagree?

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In recent times, the issue of remote assignment has emerged as a significant concern for the general public.
Although
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 working from home indeed proffers many advantages for workers, it brings many drawbacks for managers. The following essay will clarify these points of view. On the one hand, it is true that remote sensing helps staff conserve time and money especially those who take over an hour to commute, by avoiding fuel and parking fees and utilizing the extra time for other purposes.
Therefore
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, it offers more flexibility for employees to manage schedules and production environments.
Therefore
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, I partially agree that remote control facilitates a healthy work-life balance, reduces stress, and increases job satisfaction.
On the other hand
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, there is no denying that flexible work has some disadvantages
such
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 as forfeiting oversight from their owners, which means that it cannot supervise work progress and performance leading to possibly not being able to rectify any staff-related problems.
Furthermore
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, encountering communication and collaboration difficulties because of the absence of face-to-face interaction is the same obstacle.
In addition
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, communication through virtual interaction is very slow and convoluted. In conclusion,
while
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 telework provides significant advantages, it suffers from certain troubles. We must balance working from home and going to work directly depending on each person's condition to do the job most effectively.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your points, particularly regarding the advantages and disadvantages you mention.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve transitions between ideas to enhance the overall flow and clarity of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly states the topic and outlines the main points to be discussed.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the arguments presented, reiterating the need for balance between remote work and on-site work.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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