IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You recently bought a camera while travelling overseas. When you got to your destination you discovered that some important items were missing from the box. Write a letter to the local representative of the company. In your letter give details of the camera and where you bought it explain what has happened say what you want him/her to do about it

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Dear Sir or Madam, Hello, I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you well. I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
bought a
camera
Use synonyms
 recently, But I lost it
while
Linking Words
 I was travelling.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, The brand name of the
camera
Use synonyms
 is Canon, Model MMA-998, The colour is black.
Besides
Linking Words
, The
camera
Use synonyms
 is still in the box. I bought it when I was in Auckland from Warehouse,
location
Replace the word
located
show examples
 the shop on
queenstreet
Change the capitalization
Queenstreet
show examples
 behind KFC.
Besides
Linking Words
, I bought a box in order to collect all my stuff, especially the
camera
Use synonyms
, And
then
Linking Words
 I travelled by
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
bus,
Also
Linking Words
, there was a man who received our stuff, So I gave him the box.
However
Linking Words
, When I picked it up there, It was in bad condition. So, I would like you to call the bus which I travelled by,
Also
Linking Words
, require them to get
finance
Replace the word
financial
show examples
 compensation If there is any damage
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
camera
Use synonyms
. Thank you, I am looking forward to hearing back from you. Dyu Sincerely

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task achievement
Make sure to include more details in your explanation of what specifically was missing from the camera box. It clarifies your issue and strengthens your letter.
coherence and cohesion
Try to separate your ideas into clear paragraphs. For example, you can have one paragraph for the camera details, another for the incident, and one for your request.
task achievement
Your tone is polite and appropriate for a formal letter, which is important in this context.
coherence and cohesion
You provided specific information about where you purchased the camera, which helps to give context to your situation.

Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

  • A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
  • The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
  • A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • local representative
  • important items missing
  • purchase details
  • model and brand
  • missing accessories
  • inconvenience
  • use to its full extent
  • urgent request
  • partial refund
  • alternative solution
  • exchange unit
  • correct the issue
  • look forward to your prompt response
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