IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Nowadays, many rural citizens moving to
cities
Use synonyms
 is gradually becoming popular,
this
Linking Words
 has occurred in big
cities
Use synonyms
 of developed and developing countries. They can find new opportunities to advance their life by earning more money and promoting their major. The young moved to
cities
Use synonyms
 not only
develop
Fix the infinitive
to develop
show examples
 themself but
also
Linking Words
 to lend their family a hand in order to manage their family.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, too many people moving to
cities
Use synonyms
 will make the imbalance of population between the city and the countryside,
therefore
Linking Words
 the rapidly increasing of citizens in urban areas has made the traffic jams worse and worse.

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task achievement
Ensure your essay clearly states your opinion on whether this development is positive or negative in the introduction.
task achievement
Try to provide at least one or two specific examples or experiences to support your points more convincingly.
coherence cohesion
Consider using clearer transitions between ideas and paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to add a conclusion that summarizes your main points and reiterates your opinion on the issue.
task achievement
You introduced an important aspect of the issue, discussing the reasons why people migrate to cities.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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