In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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In plenty of nations throughout the world, countryside citizens are migrating to
metropolis
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metropolises
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,
therefore
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the
individuals
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number of individuals
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in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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rural
area
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areas
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is declining. It is clearly seen that there are a lot of good influences,
beside
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besides
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it
also
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cause
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causes
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a tons
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a ton
tons
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of unpleasant issues to the improvement. The relocation of rural
people
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have
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has
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made a large impact
to
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on
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the development. Too many citizens migrating
to
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apply
show examples
downtown leads to the
cities
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gradually being crowded
,
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apply
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so
that
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apply
show examples
the traffic jams
is
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are
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a huge issue and worse and worse. There are not only basic
problem
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problems
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but
also
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the
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a
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number of social evils
such
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as gambling, pickpocketing, violence,
drugs
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drug
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abuse,… .
Job
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The job
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also
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is a big matter because a lot of individuals in an area
make
Verb problem
do
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not
enough
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have enough
show examples
work for everyone, so
unemployment
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the unemployment
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rate is higher and higher day by day. The large number of individuals living in a city pollute the environment with huge waste and
emission
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emissions
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from vehicles.
For example
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, Hanoi is one of ten the most polluted
atmosphere
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atmospheres
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in the world.
Although
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there are many negative problems, it still has a lot of good affection
to
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for
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cities
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and
country’s
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the country’s
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development. The rural
people
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moving to metropolises are mostly young
people
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finding
an
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apply
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upward mobility in
career
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careers
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and students, so
that
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the
show examples
city’s workforce is either varied or youthful. The large number of citizens living in a city creates a huge demand,
this
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stuff makes commerce and service develop outstandingly. The economy of the city and nation
also
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benefit from the mass exodus.
About personal
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Personal
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, moving to big
centers
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centres
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to living and working open many more
job
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jobs
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and advance yourself opportunities in order to approach to
dream
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a dream
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career and earn more money and help
their
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your
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family improve daily life.
For instance
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, almost
Vietnamese
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all Vietnamese
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artists emigrate to big
cities
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to promote
in
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apply
show examples
their
career
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careers
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. Unless
there
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they
show examples
are
relocating
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relocated
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to big
cities
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, developing countries
could not
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cannot
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be develop
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be developed
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in the right direction.
Although
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there are tons of negative issues, the rural
people
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moving to metropolises still
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
plenty of good influence
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the country.

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task achievement
Your introduction outlines the topic well, but consider stating your thesis more clearly, indicating whether you believe the trend is positive or negative.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that points are logically ordered. Some transitions between ideas could be smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures for better expression. Avoid using overly informal language (e.g., 'a tons of unpleasant issues').
task achievement
You provided specific examples, such as mentioning pollution in Hanoi and the impact on young people, which enrich your argument.
task achievement
You effectively noted both positive and negative aspects of urban migration, which shows a balanced viewpoint.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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