In many part of the world, women study science and technology but do not work in these fields. What measures can be taken to encourage women to work in science and technology?

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In many
part
Change to a plural noun
parts

The singular countable noun part follows the quantifier many, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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of the world,
women
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

study science and
technology
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

but do not
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in these fields. What measures can be taken to encourage
women
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in science and
technology
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

?
Frist
Correct your spelling
First

The word Frist doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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,
study
Replace the word
studying

The word study doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
sicence
Correct your spelling
science

If you don’t want sicence to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and
technology
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for
women
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

essential
devolpe
Correct your spelling
developed
developer

If you don’t want devolpe to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

from skill and motivation in
addation
Correct your spelling
addition

If you don’t want addation to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, to
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in science and
technology
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

trust in skills and attention in
requriements
Correct your spelling
requirements

If you don’t want requriements to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

for
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

women
Change noun form
women's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and rise proportion
opportunty
Correct your spelling
opportunity

If you don’t want opportunty to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

for
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

factor important for measures taken to encourage
women
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in
scence
Correct your spelling
science

If you don’t want scence to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and
technology
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.Summer , open door empowering and taken
exprience
Correct your spelling
experience

If you don’t want exprience to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

study in
markat
Correct your spelling
market

If you don’t want markat to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

the
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in
scienc
Correct your spelling
science

If you don’t want scienc to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and
technology
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
Correct pronoun usage
it shoulde
show examples
shoulde
Correct your spelling
should

If you don’t want shoulde to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

motivation
Replace the word
motivate

The word motivation doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
and empowering for
women
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps in maintaining a logical flow of ideas.
task achievement
Ensure that your points are clearly supported with examples or explanations to make them more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
Proofread your work to correct spelling and grammatical mistakes, which can detract from the overall clarity.
task achievement
You have identified the importance of motivation and skills for women in science and technology, which is a relevant point.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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