IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

In many part of the world, women study science and technology but do not work in these fields. What measures can be taken to encourage women to work in science and technology?

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In many
part
Change to a plural noun
parts
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 of the world,
women
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 study science and
technology
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 but do not
work
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 in these fields. What measures can be taken to encourage
women
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 to
work
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 in science and
technology
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 ?
Frist
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First
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,
study
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studying
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sicence
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science
 and
technology
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 for
women
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 essential
devolpe
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developed
developer
 from skill and motivation in
addation
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addition
, to
work
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 in science and
technology
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 trust in skills and attention in
requriements
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requirements
 for
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women
Change noun form
women's
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work
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 and rise proportion
opportunty
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opportunity
 for
work
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this
Linking Words
 factor important for measures taken to encourage
women
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 to
work
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 in
scence
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science
 and
technology
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 .Summer , open door empowering and taken
exprience
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experience
 study in
markat
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market
 the
work
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 in
scienc
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science
 and
technology
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 .
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Correct pronoun usage
it shoulde
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shoulde
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should
motivation
Replace the word
motivate
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 and empowering for
women
Use synonyms
 .

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coherence and cohesion
Consider structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps in maintaining a logical flow of ideas.
task achievement
Ensure that your points are clearly supported with examples or explanations to make them more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
Proofread your work to correct spelling and grammatical mistakes, which can detract from the overall clarity.
task achievement
You have identified the importance of motivation and skills for women in science and technology, which is a relevant point.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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