IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The picture below shows the use of renewable energy accounting the total energy from 1971 to 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The line graph compares six regions in terms of the use of renewable
energy
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 between four decades 1971 to 2006.
Overall
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, the six regions experienced different trends during the time period.
While
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 all trends rose with fluctuations, renewable
energy
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usage
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 in Finland dominated throughout the entire period. As the graph shows, Finland had the highest percentage of renewable
energy
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usage
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 at 25% in 1971 followed by a small decrease to around 20 in 1976.Afterwards, it experienced considerable fluctuations until 2006 settling at around 20% and
rose
Wrong verb form
rising
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 to just under 24% by 2011. Denmark’s
usage
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 of renewable
energy
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 was 15% in 1971, but it declined to around 13%
then
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 it continued to grow with an oscillation to just under 22% of
energy
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 in 2011.In 1971, sustainable
energy
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 in the US was about 2%,
then
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this
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 figure experienced a significant increase from 2% to 18% during the time period.
Furthermore
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, France’s clean
energy
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usage
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 stood at 7% in 1971 followed by a small increase to 11% in 1976.
Then
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,
this
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 percentage fell to about 8% but
then
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subsequently
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 rose to just under 15% in 2011.Germany’s alternative
energy
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usage
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 stood at 5% over one decade, but it experienced a small decrease to 4% and
then
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 it grew considerably from 4% to 11% in 2011.The UK had the smallest percentage of clean
energy
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usage
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 at 1% in 1971. Despite its growth from 1% to 6% over the years, it remained the lowest
overall
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.

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task achievement
While you have effectively described trends, ensure to include a brief overview or summary of the most significant changes or patterns in your introduction. This helps in providing a clear roadmap for the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Consider breaking down long sentences into shorter ones for easier readability. This can enhance clarity and make it easier for readers to follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, it would be beneficial to summarize the main comparisons or highlight the most notable points regarding the regions' use of renewable energy. This reinforces the information presented in the body paragraphs.
task achievement
You have demonstrated a good understanding of the data and have made relevant comparisons between the regions, which contributes positively to the overall clarity of your analysis.
task achievement
Your use of specific figures (e.g., percentages) adds to the credibility of your findings and supports your comparisons effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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