IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The pie charts below show the average household expenditure in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the average household expenditure in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie chart illustrates the average household
expenses
Use synonyms
 in
Japan
Use synonyms
 and
Malaysia
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 in
the
Change the article
apply
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2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
People
Use synonyms
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
Malaysia
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 were seen spending much of their income on housing
expenses
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,
while
Linking Words
people
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 from
Japan
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 spent most of their money on miscellaneous
expenses
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. On one hand, In
Use synonyms
Malaysia
Add a comma
Malaysia,
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 the 3 biggest expenditures were housing,
trasnport
Correct your spelling
transport
 and food with 35.0%, 15.0%, and 27.0% respectively. Health care and other services were given the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
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 percentage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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expenditure in
Malaysia
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 with just 3.0% and 20.0% respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, In
Use synonyms
Japan
Add a comma
Japan,
show examples
 the 3 major
expenses
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 which
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 important to
people
Use synonyms
 were
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 other
expenses
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, housing, and food with 29.0%, 21.0%, and 24.0% respectively. Health care was taken more seriously by
people
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 in
Japan
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 as compared to
Malaysia
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 with 6.0% of their expenditure spent as compared to
Malaysia
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 with just 3%. Transport was
also
Linking Words
 more important to the
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 of
Japan
Use synonyms
 as they spent 20% of their income as compared to
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 with just 15%.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words expenses, japan, malaysia, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 3 times.
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