IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below shows the proportion of women in the labor force and women in management in five countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant. (Thảo)

The table below shows the proportion of women in the labor force and women in management in five countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant. (Thảo)
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The table shows data
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 female workers working as employees and
managers
Use synonyms
 in five countries(
Australia
Use synonyms
,
Egypt
Use synonyms
,
Sri
Use synonyms
Lanka
Use synonyms
,
Japan
Use synonyms
, and
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States). The units are measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest percentage of female workers is in
Japan
Use synonyms
 followed by the USA
while
Linking Words
 the lowest is in
Egypt
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 percentile of
women
Use synonyms
 as
managers
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 in
Sri
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
lanka
Change the capitalization
Lanka
show examples
 and the maximum is in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
states
Capitalize word
States
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 tabular chart shows that 48 per cent of
women
Use synonyms
 are working in
Japan
Use synonyms
 followed by 46% and 42% in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States and
Australia
Use synonyms
 respectively.
While
Linking Words
 41 per cent of female employees are present in
Sri
Use synonyms
Lanka
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 percentage (20%) of working females is recorded in
Egypt
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there is
equal
Add an article
the equal
an equal
show examples
 percentile of female
managers
Use synonyms
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and America.
While
Linking Words
 17% and 12% of
women
Use synonyms
 are working as
managers
Use synonyms
 in countries
Japan
Use synonyms
 and
Egypt
Use synonyms
subsequently
Linking Words
.
However
Linking Words
, the lowest percentage of
women
Use synonyms
managers
Use synonyms
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
9 per cent is shown in
Sri
Use synonyms
Lanka
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words managers, australia, egypt, sri, lanka, japan, women with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: