IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people feel that governments should take a large portion of people's salaries to pay for necessary public services such as roads and schools. Others feel that high taxes are a bad thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Many think that they should not pay for substantial governmental
services
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
, others
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that these
services
Use synonyms
 should be provided for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free.In my opinion, schools and roads should not be given in return
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 money, and
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 is responsible
to cover
Change preposition
for covering
show examples
 these
expences
Correct your spelling
expenses
show examples
 to provide
better
Add an article
the better
a better
show examples
community
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both perspectives.
Use synonyms
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 is responsible
to make
Change preposition
for making
show examples
 a better
community
Use synonyms
 for their residents.To enhance
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
Use synonyms
community
Change noun form
community's
show examples
 growth, schools, roads, and hospitals must not be paid for and open
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
. As these
services
Use synonyms
 are
crusial
Correct your spelling
crucial
 for everyone and should be accessed
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
 any human being.
For example
Linking Words
, Saudi Arabia covers
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
pay
these
Change preposition
for these
show examples
 facilities and Saudi Arabian
people
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 have positively grown
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 both personal and professional levels. What if
people
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 are paying for these
services
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?.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 which some
people
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 cannot afford and will be drawn with loans in order to have a
simplel
Correct your spelling
simple
simpler
 life. Many individuals will
adure
Correct your spelling
adore
endure
 being sick or
priorties
Correct your spelling
priorities
 working over education which will eventually lead to
uneducated
Correct article usage
an uneducated
show examples
community
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, Germans
pays
Change the verb form
pay
show examples
 for their health and education.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
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 tend to work
instead
Linking Words
 of pursuing their dreams.
Linking Words
as well as
Rephrase
Also
show examples
 German families do not have extended family and have only one or two kids. Why? so they can afford a normal life for their kids.
Hence
Linking Words
,
German
Replace the word
Germany
show examples
 now is facing a
piovital
Correct your spelling
pivotal
 problem which is a lack of youth in
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 population. In conclusion, it is a violation of human rights, if persons have to pay for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
necessary things
such
Linking Words
 as education, health, and any other
government
Use synonyms
 facilities. Even though
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
goernment
Correct your spelling
government
 cannot afford these
services
Use synonyms
 for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 should be affordable. Better
government
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starting
Wrong verb form
starts
show examples
 with a better and
healthy
Replace the word
healthier
show examples
community
Use synonyms
.

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coherence
Make sure to clearly state your arguments and follow logical connectors to enhance the flow between ideas.
task achievement
Ensure that your introduction includes a clear thesis statement outlining your main argument.
language use
Proofread for grammatical errors and typos to improve the overall clarity of your writing.
task achievement
You have presented a clear opinion in your introduction which sets the tone for your essay.
supported main points
The use of examples such as Saudi Arabia and Germany helps to strengthen your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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