IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that government funding for schools should be spent on science subjects rather than on other subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no doubt that
science
Use synonyms
 of
education
Use synonyms
 is a significant course in the life . Howeover, government should sport all
subjects
Use synonyms
 . Many individuals think that learning
science
Use synonyms
 is more essential in futuer career. Whil others believe that different program are more nessessory for levels schooling .I see the disagree outweigh agree. In thes essay, I will focus on the two main reasons of downsides.
To begin
Linking Words
 with drawbacks, not all students prefer
science
Use synonyms
 becaues is not interested . For more clarification, government should Sport pupils in all
subjects
Use synonyms
 because some
people
Use synonyms
 like literature becaues is fun . As an example: according British council Tom say studding numerous
subjects
Use synonyms
 like literature is more crieative than
science
Use synonyms
 program.
Secondly
Linking Words
, not most learning able to specific courses. To clarify, some individuals need a higher level of intelligence to take
science
Use synonyms
 .
For example
Linking Words
: depending on the studies in British Cambridge 95% of
people
Use synonyms
 fulling in that subject more because most their ability up in
education
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, should ministry of
education
Use synonyms
 suports all subject .
On the other hand
Linking Words
, studing specefic aspics will effects in the futuer. Most human who can not choes their
subjects
Use synonyms
 will feeling difficult career and they are not able to doing well in their job. For instens: There is studies from Sultan Qabus College 90 percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 who working in the health care have problem with work because need a higher level of
education
Use synonyms
 .
Moreover
Linking Words
, Learning in specific sied trans to full . Studing
science
Use synonyms
 and working in
education
Use synonyms
 need literature subject to sacsseful. As an example, business need to learning math to pass in their future work . In conclusion, I believe that govemmant should suport all curricula becaues some
people
Use synonyms
 do not prefer studying sciense and not up to their level .Other things will effects in the future and may of them will fuilling in career.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction. It's important to indicate whether you largely agree or disagree with the statement and provide a brief overview of your main arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs have clear topic sentences which help guide the reader. Each paragraph should focus on a single point related to your thesis.
task achievement
Try to include more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments. For instance, when referencing studies, it's better to provide context or details about what they found.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to spelling and grammatical errors, as these can detract from the overall clarity of your writing. Proofreading can help minimize these mistakes.
task achievement
You addressed the task and presented arguments for both sides of the issue, which shows an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your essay mentions relevant examples such as studies from British Council and Sultan Qabus College which demonstrate an attempt to back up your points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • government funding
  • education funding
  • science subjects
  • STEM fields
  • technological advancement
  • innovation
  • economic competitiveness
  • holistic development
  • curriculum
  • real-world applications
  • climate change
  • public health
  • critical thinking
  • creativity
  • emotional intelligence
  • adaptability
  • diverse student interests
What to do next:
Look at other essays: