IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

the increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. what are the causes of this? what can be done to solve this problem.

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Nowaday
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
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, people
are tend
Change the verb form
tend
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 to consume a lot of things that they
don
Correct your spelling
do
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 not need.
This
Linking Words
phenomenom
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
leading
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
 to the destruction
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the natural environment.
This
Linking Words
 essay will look at some primary causes of
this
Linking Words
 and offer some possible solutions to the problem. There are a number of reasons for the manufacture
goods
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of goods
show examples
have
Correct pronoun usage
that have
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 much discussed. The first reason is a lot of companies discharge sewage into the ocean and eliminate fumes
on
Change preposition
in
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 the air.
Secondly
Linking Words
, people
nowaday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
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 tend to
purchare
Correct your spelling
purchase
 their money on goods to show their
weathy
Correct your spelling
wealthy
wealth
.
For example
Linking Words
, Rosy Blackpink who is a singer,
she
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is really famous in the world. She
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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introduced YSL perfume and just a day
that
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after that
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 perfume was
solded
Correct your spelling
sold
 out by her fans. There are several actions that could be taken to mitigate the problem mentioned above.
Goverment
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Government
 should ban companies and factories
discharge
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from discharging
show examples
 their sewage into the ocean. If they waste and
eshaust
Correct your spelling
exhaust
 fumes
hogher
Correct your spelling
higher
 than
regulatory
Correct article usage
the regulatory
show examples
 amount, they have to be punished.
Goverment
Correct your spelling
Government
 should encourage
of
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apply
show examples
recycling products and invest in clean
teachnologies
Correct your spelling
technologies
 and renewable energy.

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task achievement
Ensure a clearer introduction by stating the causes and solutions clearly. Consider rephrasing for clarity and grammatical accuracy.
coherence and cohesion
Use connecting words and phrases for better flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will enhance coherence.
task achievement
Provide more relevant examples, along with elaboration on how these examples relate to the main arguments.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear topic and addresses the question prompt, which is a good foundation.
task achievement
The identification of specific problems such as sewage discharge and consumer behaviors is commendable.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • production
  • consumer goods
  • natural environment
  • damage
  • causes
  • overconsumption
  • demand
  • environmental regulations
  • enforcement
  • natural resources
  • industrial pollution
  • waste
  • inadequate
  • waste management practices
  • public awareness
  • education
  • sustainable alternatives
  • stricter environmental laws
  • recycling
  • responsible consumption
  • clean technologies
  • renewable energy
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