Nowadays, some celebrities such as film stars, sportsmen and pop musicians are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which jobs should be highly paid?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There is a debate nowadays about

Correct word choice

whether is

show examples

it fair for some celebrities like movie stars, athletes and musicians to have a

siginficant

Correct your spelling

significant

high income. In my opinion, I

totaly disgree

Correct your spelling

totally disagree

, because the market is about demand and supply, and as long people enjoy and

ready

Add a missing verb

are ready

show examples

to buy for entertainment. The result will be an increase in the

networth

Correct your spelling

net worth

of those celebrities. In

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I will discuss

this

Linking Words

matter in detail.

To begin

Linking Words

with, only

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

1% of celebrities are getting paid

over

Change preposition

apply

show examples

millions

USD

Change preposition

of USD

show examples

for

thier

Correct your spelling

their

Use synonyms

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

while

Linking Words

the majority of

artist

Fix the agreement mistake

artists

show examples

and

sportman

Correct your spelling

sportsman

sportsmen

get paid only

the

Correct article usage

show examples

minmum

Correct your spelling

minimum

wage annually.

For example

Linking Words

, many actors and

actress

Fix the agreement mistake

actresses

show examples

said that

there

Replace the word

their

show examples

salary

Change the preposition

show examples

the beginning of their career were almost 20,000 USD a year in the

Uinted

Correct your spelling

United

State

Fix the agreement mistake

States

show examples

American

Correct your spelling

America

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

before they

become

Wrong verb form

became

show examples

famous. yet, not everyone who

works

Use synonyms

in the film

industery

Correct your spelling

industry

will become rich and famous in his/her

life-time

Correct your spelling

lifetime

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

, only a few

celebrites

Correct your spelling

celebrities

are getting paid huge

amount

Fix the agreement mistake

amounts

show examples

of money.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, famous individuals get paid by

there

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

fan

Fix the agreement mistake

fans

show examples

who enjoy their

Use synonyms

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

, and the bigger

thier

Correct your spelling

their

fan-base

Correct your spelling

fan base

show examples

, the more successful and richer they will become.

For instance

Linking Words

, Taylor Swift

Use synonyms

works

Wrong verb form

has worked

show examples

Change the article

show examples

musician over the

last

Linking Words

15 years, making money

through

Change preposition

show examples

selling her album and consort ticker.

Due to

Linking Words

that

Add a comma

that,

show examples

she

become

Change the verb form

becomes

show examples

billioner

Correct your spelling

billionaire

Moreover

Linking Words

, When it

come

Change the verb form

comes

show examples

to who should get higher

payment

Replace the word

pay

show examples

, I think the market

decide

Correct subject-verb agreement

decides

show examples

which professions have high

paid

Replace the word

pay

show examples

or not. To illustrate, if there is a high demand and need for a certain profession like (doctors,

softwear

Correct your spelling

software

engineer

Fix the agreement mistake

engineers

show examples

...etc), and there are fewer people who

Use synonyms

works

Change the verb form

work

show examples

in that field.

As a result

Linking Words

, anyone who

works

Use synonyms

high

Replace the word

highly

show examples

demanded fields will get

well-paid

Add an article

a well-paid

the well-paid

show examples

salary. In conclusion, the level of payment in any job

depend

Change the verb form

depends

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

demand

Correct article usage

the demand

show examples

and supply of the market, and

celeberities

Correct your spelling

celebrities

are not an exception

from

Change preposition

show examples

the rule. The more famous you are in your

filed

Correct your spelling

field

show examples

and have loyal

cusomers

Correct your spelling

customers

fan-base

Correct your spelling

fan base

show examples

, the more money you will earn. I firmly believe that

celeberite

Correct your spelling

celebrities

have the right to have

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

income and they earn it by

hard-work

Correct your spelling

hard work

show examples

. We should not

minmise

Correct your spelling

minimise

anyone's job or

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

think they

Verb problem

are

show examples

not worth what they get paid for.

neamaabdo90Sat Mar 22 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

The essay addresses the topic, but some points are not fully developed. Ensure that each paragraph thoroughly explores key ideas with clear reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion

There are several grammatical errors and typos (e.g., 'siginficant,' 'totaly,' 'thier,' 'Uinted State of American'). Proofreading for such mistakes can improve clarity and coherence.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay could benefit from smoother transitions between ideas. Consider using linking phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs and within paragraphs.

Task Achievement

The essay shows a clear opinion on the topic, which is articulated well in the introduction and conclusion.

Task Achievement

Some relevant examples are included, such as mentioning Taylor Swift to illustrate how celebrity income can reflect demand.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
61
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

366 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender?
It is obvious that non-identical physiology and anatomy will result in differences in the abilities and challenges faced by males and females. Some people would give a high value to this inequality while considering some kind of professions. However, in my point of view, it should be taken into account more cautiously.
4.5
band
You have seen am advertisemen from a couple , who live in Australia, for someone to teach their two children your language for a Year. Write a letter to a couple. In your letter: •explain why you think you would be suitable for the job •say what else you could do forthe family •give your reasons for the wanting job
I am writing this letter to apply for the job as a teacher to teach your children in your home that l had read from local newspaper recently . I would really appreciate it if you would give the chance of teaching to your two children for a Year.
7.5
band
Some people think that cultural traditions will be destroyed when they are used as money-making machines aimed at tourists, other people believes that it is the only way to save such traditions in the world today. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion
These days, the argument over whether using cultural traditions as money-making attractions for tourists leads to their destruction or is the key to their preservation has not been settled yet.
7.5
band
In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
The drive to excel academically mixed with admiration of entrepreneurial success has made a few elites in many parts of the world earn extortionate incomes that make them stand out. Some seem to favour this view as being pleasant to any nation, while others oppose it and think law enforcement should regulate people's salaries so that they do not surpass a certain threshold. In this essay l will discuss both views and why l have chosen to stand with the former statement.
<4
band
The length of vacation that employees enjoy each year varies from job to job. Do you think people should have the same number of holidays regardless of their occupation? Explain your answer.
The employee must have same duration lengt of vocation each year not depent on their job. In my view I agree with this statement, becouse each worker have some to have off day in year. When employee have right equal in holiday and no envy from each employees.

Nowadays, some celebrities such as film stars, sportsmen and pop musicians are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which jobs should be highly paid?

Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender?

Some people think that cultural traditions will be destroyed when they are used as money-making machines aimed at tourists, other people believes that it is the only way to save such traditions in the world today. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

The length of vacation that employees enjoy each year varies from job to job. Do you think people should have the same number of holidays regardless of their occupation? Explain your answer.