Some university students live with their family while others live away form home because their universities are in different places. Do you think the benefits of living away from home outweigh the disadvantages?

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In recent years, many students
live
Wrong verb form
have lived
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with their parents
whereas
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some prefer to stay away from home because their universities or colleges are
at
Change preposition
in
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different regions. From my perspective,
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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of living away from home significantly
outweighs
Change the verb form
outweigh
show examples
the disadvantages.
To begin
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with,
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
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of staying with family. Students really enjoy and have a hearty lunch together. One can even share feelings and thoughts with each other and get advice or suggestions
accordingly
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.
Additionally
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, family sickness never be a problem for learners.
For instance
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, teenagers after a long busy day at
study
Correct article usage
a study
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place, play with their siblings or parents
and
Correct word choice
which
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can automatically boost
up
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apply
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their mind and energy
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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.
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
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, living with family plays an important role in fostering emotional value too.
Nevertheless
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, in my opinion,
Correct pronoun usage
those
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who
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
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away from home have more advantages than
by
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apply
show examples
disadvantages because people learn more about
independency
Correct your spelling
independence
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and freedom. To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, they develop social skills by learning about various cultures when
live
Change the verb form
living
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with a group in
hostel
Correct article usage
a hostel
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or
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
.
For example
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, students start buying things
according to
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their budget, wash clothes
by
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on
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their own,
wake
Correct word choice
and wake
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up early in the morning. They become a good responsible person.
Moreover
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, face some difficulties but learn to overcome the situations
by
Change preposition
over
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time.
Thus
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,
this
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exposure can lead to greater success in their careers. In conclusion, both have their own benefits but staying away from family for
sometime
Replace the word
some time
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really
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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an indispensable role which makes a huge difference in their success.
Hence
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, its advantages definitely
outweighs
Change the verb form
outweigh
show examples
the disadvantages.

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task achievement
Consider elaborating more on the disadvantages of living away from home to balance your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance the logical flow between ideas by using more linking phrases.
coherence and cohesion
Vary your sentence structures to enhance readability.
task achievement
You provide a clear opinion on the topic and support it with relevant reasons.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that frames your argument well.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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