IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The environmental
issue
Use synonyms
 of excessive packaging of goods
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
manufacturers and shopping stores
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been
risen
Wrong verb form
rising
show examples
 for a decade.
While
Linking Words
 I acknowledge that
this
Linking Words
issue
Use synonyms
 should be
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 responsibility of
entreprenuers
Correct your spelling
entrepreneurs
, I believe that individuals should
also
Linking Words
 play a pivotal role in addressing the
issue
Use synonyms
too
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, manufacturers and supermarkets should focus on the
decresing
Correct your spelling
decreasing
 of packaging.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they should consider
to
Change the verb form
using
show examples
use
Use synonyms
environmental
Change the adjective
environmentally
show examples
 friendly materials
instead
Linking Words
 of
plastic
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 will help reduce the
plastic
Use synonyms
 waste in packaging production and it will result in decreasing the level of green carbon in the world.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the businessman should create
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
re-
Correct your spelling
reuse
show examples
use
Use synonyms
 bags campaign by giving
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 rebate if the buyers bring their own
reusuable
Correct your spelling
reusable
 bags.
This
Linking Words
 campaign will
defnitely
Correct your spelling
definitely
 the excessive of packaging goods in the industry.
However
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals should
also
Linking Words
 contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 reducing the
use
Use synonyms
 of
plastic
Use synonyms
 packaging in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
several ways. The easiest way for the buyers to start off is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they
should
Verb problem
apply
show examples
support the business which is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 the environment.
For example
Linking Words
, they should not purchase products that
using
Change the form of the verb
use
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plastic
Use synonyms
 for packaging.
As a result
Linking Words
, the business will not be able to produce more as
lacking
Verb problem
there is a lack
show examples
 of demand.
In addition
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consumers should play a crucial role
to support
Change preposition
in supporting
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
businesses that
use
Use synonyms
 eco-friendly materials to wrap the
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 or as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
packaging
such
Linking Words
 as bamboo or recycled materials. In conclusion, not only the businessman should be responsible for the environmental
issue
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
packaging consumption, but the customers should
also
Linking Words
 be a part of the community to reduce the
use
Use synonyms
 of excessive packaging.

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task achievement
Clarify your main points in both views for better understanding.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs flow smoothly and ideas connect well.
task achievement
Use more varied vocabulary and correct spelling for clearer communication.
task achievement
You present a balanced view of both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay structure is clear, with an introduction, body, and conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainability
  • Eco-friendly
  • Carbon footprint
  • Excessive packaging
  • Biodegradable materials
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Consumer advocacy
  • Environmental stewardship
  • Waste reduction
  • Recycling initiatives
  • Green practices
  • Minimalist lifestyle
  • Resource conservation
  • Sustainable consumption
  • Packaging alternatives
  • Regulatory measures
  • Ethical choices
  • Environmental impact assessment
  • Renewable resources
  • Compostable packaging
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