IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many
people
Use synonyms
 in the world
are agree
Change the verb form
agree
show examples
 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical
care
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 or some
medicins
Correct your spelling
medicines
show examples
 must be free for
people
Use synonyms
. Because they are not able to pay for everything
such
Linking Words
 as
care
Use synonyms
 from the doctor and all
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
medicins
Correct your spelling
medicine
show examples
,
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they believe they must get it for free.
While
Linking Words
 others are opposed to
this
Linking Words
 and think, in the world some
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 are really poor and they can not afford to pay for everything and they need help, but others who
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not need that must pay for everything. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both
of
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apply
show examples
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
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. In the conclusion, I will
clarly
Correct your spelling
clearly
 state my position on
this
Linking Words
 issue. On the one hand, a category of
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
people
Use synonyms
 must pay for everything. Because the government must take the taxes
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 the
people
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.
This
Linking Words
 can cause
decline
Add an article
the decline
a decline
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of
Change preposition
in
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economy
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the economy
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 and the country
become
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to become
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 poor.
On the other hand
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, a category of
people
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 think that it must be affordable for
people
Use synonyms
 to get some medical
care
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by
Change preposition
from
show examples
doctor
Add an article
a doctor
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 or other staff,
also
Linking Words
 some
medicins
Correct your spelling
medicines
show examples
. Because those
people
Use synonyms
 are not able to pay.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 old person who does not have family or
people
Use synonyms
 who will look after
for
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apply
show examples
her/him, some kind of
care
Use synonyms
 must be free. In conclusion, I believe particularly
people
Use synonyms
 who are not able to pay or do not have
people
Use synonyms
 who can look after,
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 must
be ensure
Change the verb form
be ensured
show examples
 by the authorities. Because all these
people
Use synonyms
 are getting older day after day
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 become more
difficulte
Correct your spelling
difficult
.
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
, I believe those
people
Use synonyms
 really need funding or other staff.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who do not need any kind of help
financial
Change the word
financially
show examples
 or other they must not be helped.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly express your opinion in the introduction. It helps to have a clear thesis statement that reflects your stance on the topic.
task achievement
Support your points with relevant examples or evidence. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
Work on grammar and vocabulary to avoid small inaccuracies that can affect clarity. For instance, use 'agree' instead of 'are agree' and 'medicines' instead of 'medicins.'
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and figures to logically connect ideas. This will enhance the overall flow of your essay.
task achievement
You presented a balanced perspective by discussing both sides of the argument, which is great for task achievement.
task achievement
Your intention to discuss multiple views is commendable and essential for a comprehensive analysis of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal coverage
  • equity
  • fundamental human right
  • out-of-pocket expenses
  • financial hardship
  • preventative measures
  • social contract
  • quality of care
  • high demand
  • limited resources
  • tax implications
  • budget priorities
  • universal healthcare systems
  • public health
  • disease burden
What to do next:
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