IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The working week should be shorter, and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

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The working week should be shorter, and workers should have a longer
weekend
Use synonyms
. Do you agree or disagree? Recently, the working week should be declined, and rest
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
show examples
, the
weekend
Use synonyms
 should be extended has
been lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
an
Change preposition
to an
show examples
 intense discussion on the internet. From the perspective of myself, I insist that all the
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 ought to gain more reasonable longer
Use synonyms
weekend
Fix the agreement mistake
weekends
show examples
.
Initially
Linking Words
, the
minimize
Wrong verb form
minimising
show examples
 of the working week
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
show examples
 to
staffs’
Change noun form
staff’s
show examples
 health, both mental and physical. Many
researches
Correct your spelling
researchers
show examples
 have pointed out that long-
time
Use synonyms
 and nonstop work is unbeneficial to emotion, and
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 anxiety, mad and all kinds of negative emotions. The mountain-like job,
time
Use synonyms
 schedule and pressure from
boss
Add an article
the boss
show examples
 may indirectly make the mental hurt transmit to the body. The back, hand and brain of
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
 will all go slowly and be vulnerable, which
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 some extent dramatically delay the job and let the performance down. Extending the
weekend
Use synonyms
 is totally feasible and viable
due to
Linking Words
 its positive effect on
staffs’
Fix the agreement mistake
staff’
show examples
 performance. Longer rest
time
Use synonyms
 means that workers could have a
completely
Change the word
complete
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 to bring back their best status and get rid of all of
exhaust
Add an article
the exhaust
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, extra
weekend
Use synonyms
 is another form of personal
time
Use synonyms
, which
permit
Correct subject-verb agreement
permits
show examples
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
 to learn and motivate their capability so that they can work
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 task effectively.
For example
Linking Words
, for
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ordinary people in
marketing
Add an article
the marketing
show examples
 department, a longer
weekend
Use synonyms
 allows them to
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
coding or MySQL, and ultimately
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them perform well in digital marketing, fulfilling a fabulous achievement. In short, what
a
Change the article
an
show examples
extending
Replace the word
extended
show examples
weekend
Use synonyms
 can bring is unimaginative, and its influence will contribute to companies’ development.

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Task Achievement
Strengthen the introduction by clearly stating your position and outlining the main points you will discuss.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the organization of your ideas; ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that supporting details follow logically.
Coherence and Cohesion
Provide clearer transitions between ideas and paragraphs to enhance overall flow.
General
Revise for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to improve clarity and readability.
Lexical Resource
Use more varied vocabulary to demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the topic and provides opinions with supporting arguments.
Task Achievement
The examples provided, such as the marketing department, help illustrate the point made about skill development during the extended weekend.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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