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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart provides information about the level of female unemployment in four parts of the United Kingdom between the years of 2013 to 2014

The bar chart provides information about the level of female unemployment in four parts of the United Kingdom between the years of 2013 to 2014
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This
Linking Words
 diagram illustrates the percentage of female unemployment in
four
Use synonyms
 regions of the UK between 2013 and 2014. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is readily apparent that there
is
Change the verb form
are
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 no dramatic differences among
Use synonyms
four
Correct article usage
the four
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 areas in both years, and Scotland's level of female unemployment became the highest point in
four
Use synonyms
 parts of the United Kingdom in 2014. As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can be seen, England had the most unemployed female in 2013, but in the next year, Scotland's rates became the highest,
grew
Wrong verb form
growing
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 0.6
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 from 6.1% to 6.7%, which
also
Linking Words
 was the only increasing region,
overwhelmed
Replace the word
overwhelming
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 another three fields.
Northen
Correct your spelling
Northern
 Ireland had the most significant decrease,
pulmmeted
Correct your spelling
plummeted
 1% in one year and became the lowest area
had
Correct pronoun usage
that had
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unemployed
Add an article
an unemployed
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female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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 in 2014. Wales and England
also
Linking Words
 had declined rates between the years of 2013 to 2014. Wales reduced 0.4
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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, maintained
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 stage of
four
Use synonyms
 parts of the United Kingdom, and England had
minimum
Add an article
a minimum
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 reduction,
dropped
Wrong verb form
dropping
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 to 6.5% from the top point, 6.8%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words four with synonyms.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unemployment rate
  • temporal trends
  • regional variations
  • economic policies
  • industry growth/decline
  • educational opportunities
  • social implications
  • gender equality
  • workforce participation
  • family income
  • employment opportunities
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