IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You have recently bought some camping equipment but it was faulty. You phoned the shop but no action has been taken. Write a letter to the shop maneger. In your letter, -Describe the problem with the equipment -Explain what happened when you phoned the shop -Say what you would like the maneger to do

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Dear Mr. Singh, I am writing to you
for expressing
Change preposition
to express
show examples
 my disappointment about some equipment that
i
Change the capitalization
I
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brought
Correct your spelling
bought
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last
Linking Words
 month from your shop for my camping. I called many times
since
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over
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Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
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 3 weeks to solve my issues but any
kinds
Fix the agreement mistake
kind
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 of action has not
taken
Add a missing verb
been taken
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. I brought some
nessecity
Correct your spelling
necessary
 things for my camping,
such
Linking Words
 as a tent, a sleeping bag, a pillow, and a mat. After opening the products,
i
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I
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 came to know that the zip of the sleeping bag
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 broken and leakage in the tent. I phoned several times to your repair service
since
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over
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Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
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 three weeks, but they did nothing to solve my problems. They directly stated that we
cannot
Wrong verb form
could not
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solve your issue till
december
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December
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 because of their
work load
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workload
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. But my friends decided to go
on
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apply
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camping next month in
july
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July
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. So
i
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I
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 can not wait for
long
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a long
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 time. I have
frustrated
Add a missing verb
been frustrated
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from
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with
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 your service and
i
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I
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 want my refund so that
i
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I
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 can purchase it again. I am willing to return your items either by Canada Post or by Purolator. I am hoping for your positive consideration.
Your
Correct the word
Yours
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 sincerely, Rupinder Kaur.

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suitable writing tone
Consider using a more formal tone and correcting the informal language.
logical structure
Make sure to include a clearer structure, such as clear paragraphs for each point you are making.
complete response
Try to avoid grammatical errors, such as 'any kinds of action has not taken'.
complete response
You effectively described the problem with the equipment.
complete response
Your request for a refund and willingness to return the items were clearly stated.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • faulty
  • equipment
  • camping
  • manager
  • describe
  • problem
  • malfunctioning
  • response
  • replacement
  • refund
  • repair service
  • contact
  • action
  • complaint
  • tent
  • sleeping bag
  • issue
  • resolution
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