IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The first British car drove on
roads
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 in 1888. Since
then
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 the ownership of
cars
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have
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has
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 risen exponentially.
Ther
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There
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are
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is
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 more than 29 million vehicles on British
roads
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 nowadays. Other forms of
transport
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 may be encouraged to avoid congestion but restrictions on car ownership and use should not be encouraged.
Cars
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 are a type of
transport
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 , they fit in the category of personal vehicles.
Cars
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 offer a lot of freedom as
it
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they
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provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
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 the owner
a
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with a
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means to travel anywhere within range.
Cars
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 come in different shapes, sizes and
capacity
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capacities
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 so they offer a wide range of variety to satisfy everyone's needs. But they come with
a
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apply
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certain drawbacks namely pollution, noise and
conjestion
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congestion
 of
roads
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. As more and more
people
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 are getting attracted to feel
this
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 sense of freedom, there are more and more
cars
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 on the
roads
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. Nowadays, traffic jams and road accidents are now
a
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apply
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commonplace and they are partly
due to
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 the increase in the number of
cars
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. Other forms of
transport
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 namely public
transport
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 like trams and buses are efficient movers of
people
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 across distances. Since they move a large number of
people
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 they reduce
Correct article usage
the conjestion
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conjestion
Correct your spelling
congestion
 of
roads
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 and are more sustainable than
cars
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.
However
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, the main drawback i that they don't offer much freedom. In conclusion,
cars
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 are a better form of
transport
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 so it is not wise to introduce restrictions
in
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on
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 car ownership and use.
Therefore
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, I strongly disagree since it is the infrastructure that has to be changed and not the
people
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Your introduction should clearly outline your position on the topic and briefly mention the main points you will discuss. This will help set the reader's expectations.
task achievement
Make sure to check your spelling and grammar. For example, 'ther' should be 'there' and 'conjestion' should be 'congestion'. Small errors can affect the clarity of your writing.
task achievement
Your conclusion could summarize the main arguments you've made and reinforce your stance on the issue, instead of just stating your opinion.
task achievement
You provide a clear opinion on the topic and articulate your points regarding the advantages and disadvantages of cars vs. alternative transport.
task achievement
You have included relevant examples, particularly in discussing the drawbacks of cars and the benefits of public transport.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • reliance on
  • regulate
  • traffic congestion
  • pollution
  • public health
  • sustainable development
  • alternative forms of transport
  • car ownership
  • balancing benefits and drawbacks
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