IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart illustrates the percentage of how parents in a country spent time taking care of their children in the evening in 2022. (rewriteja)

The bar chart illustrates the percentage of how parents in a country spent time taking care of their children in the evening in 2022. (rewriteja)
The bar chart shows the amount of how
father
Fix the agreement mistake
fathers
show examples
 &
mother
Fix the agreement mistake
mothers
show examples
 in a national leisure time taking protect of their boys & girls in the evening in 2022.
Overall
Linking Words
,it can be seen that the lowest percentage of fathers
while
Linking Words
 the highest percentage of mothers.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • spend time
  • care
  • parents
  • children
  • evening
  • activities
  • influence
  • educational outcomes
  • social outcomes
  • demographics
  • single parents
  • socioeconomic groups
  • time management
  • child development
  • family dynamics
What to do next:
Look at other essays: