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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table below shows the average weekly salaries of men and women working in different occupations. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.JJ

The table below shows the average weekly salaries of men and women working in different occupations. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.JJ
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This
Linking Words
 table
illustrated
Wrong verb form
illustrates
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 the
icome
Correct your spelling
income
 of both genders in many different industries per week. Generally, we can observe that the
Use synonyms
men
Change noun form
men's
show examples
 salaries are
highest
Correct word choice
higher
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 than
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
.
Linking Words
Additionally
Add a comma
Additionally,
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 the highest salaries are for professionals for both women and
men
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
 the lowest
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 for manual
laborers
Change the spelling
labourers
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
men
Use synonyms
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
working
Wrong verb form
work
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in
Change preposition
as
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 professionals are
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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paid $2000. Which is the highest salary
than
Change preposition
of
show examples
 any other
employers
Fix the agreement mistake
employer
show examples
 in other industries.
While
Linking Words
 the manual
laborers
Change the spelling
labourers
show examples
 get $1100
considerd
Correct your spelling
considered
 the lowest.
Moreover
Linking Words
, technicians, social workers and administrative are almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 with small
different
Replace the word
differences
show examples
$
Change preposition
of $
show examples
1400,$13500 and $1350 respectively. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, it's
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
clear that
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
 salaries are less than
Use synonyms
men
Change noun form
men's
show examples
 in the same jobs.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 professional workers take $1900 which is the largest earning.
Incomparison
Correct your spelling
In comparison
 to
laborers
Change the spelling
labourers
show examples
 $850 which is
markidly
Correct your spelling
markedly
 low.
Finally
Linking Words
, the rest of the careers are almost the same.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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