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Band 4.5

The Diagram below describes how water is stored and used to produce electricity. Write an academic report indicating the main features and how they are interrelated

The Diagram below describes how water is stored and used to produce electricity. Write an academic report indicating the main features and how they are interrelated
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The diagram illustrates the progress of how
water
Use synonyms
 is stored and contributed to electricity,
such
Linking Words
 as hospitals and schools. Generally speaking,
their
Replace the word
there
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 are multiple steps to processing sea
water
Use synonyms
 to useful
water
Use synonyms
 for society to take
adventage
Correct your spelling
advantage
, beginning
Change preposition
of, beginning
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 with solar steaming the sea
water
Use synonyms
 into
Add an article
the cloud
a cloud
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cloud
Fix the agreement mistake
clouds
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 and ending
at
Change preposition
with
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human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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deviding
Correct your spelling
dividing
deciding
 to different organisations. As is given in the graph, we can have a closer look at hydro-electric power generation. The first step
starting
Wrong verb form
starts
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from
Change preposition
with
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 the original
sea
Correct your spelling
seawater
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water
Use synonyms
 evaporation
then
Linking Words
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
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to
Change preposition
apply
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clouds, and it rains, next the
water
Use synonyms
 will be collected and involved to
reservoir
Add an article
the reservoir
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 to be stored.
Next,
Linking Words
thorough
Correct your spelling
through
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 the circulation includes filtered by
dam
Add an article
the dam
a dam
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, processed by
valve's
Correct article usage
the valve's
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 open and close, turbine and pump. In the next step,
water
Use synonyms
 will be transported by
high voltage
Add a hyphen
high-voltage
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 cables to
transformer
Correct article usage
the transformer
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 station.
Finally
Linking Words
,
transformer
Correct article usage
the transformer
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 station will allocate
water
Use synonyms
 to every electricity like factories, agencies, hospitals and educational spaces via underground cables.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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