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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the information from 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030.

The graph below shows the information from 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030.
The line graph shows
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption in the USA from 1980 and provides predictions up to 2030.
Overall
Linking Words
, fossil fuels have been the dominant
energy
Use synonyms
sources
Fix the agreement mistake
source
show examples
 and are expected to remain the main contributors in the future.
By contrast
Linking Words
, non-fossil fuels account for smaller proportions,
although
Linking Words
 their use is predicted to rise slightly. In 1980, the USA consumed about 35
quadrillion
Use synonyms
units
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 of petrol and oil, compared with 20
quadrillion
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units
Use synonyms
 of natural gas and 15
quadrillion
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units
Use synonyms
 of coal. Over the following 25 years, all three fossil fuels increased, with petrol and oil reaching 40
quadrillion
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units
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 in 2005. Coal rose to 23
units
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,
while
Linking Words
 natural gas grew to 22
units
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. Looking ahead, natural gas is expected to
stabilize
Change the spelling
stabilise
show examples
 at around 25
units
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 by 2030. Petrol and oil,
however
Linking Words
, are projected to climb to 49
quadrillion
Use synonyms
units
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, and coal is forecast to reach about 32
quadrillion
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units
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, non-fossil
energy
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 sources contributed far less. Nuclear
energy
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 began at 4
quadrillion
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units
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 in 1980 and rose gradually to around 6
units
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 in 2005, with predictions of
further
Linking Words
 growth to about 8
units
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 in 2030. Solar and wind
energy
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,
as well as
Linking Words
 hydropower, started at
similarly
Linking Words
 low levels.
While
Linking Words
 solar and wind are expected to see modest increases to around 6
units
Use synonyms
, hydropower has remained almost unchanged,
stabilizing
Change the spelling
stabilising
show examples
 at about 2
units
Use synonyms
 throughout the entire period.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, quadrillion, units with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Energy consumption
  • Renewable resources
  • Non-renewable resources
  • Fossil fuels
  • Nuclear power
  • Hydroelectric power
  • Solar energy
  • Wind energy
  • Biomass
  • Consumption patterns
  • Technological advancements
  • Energy efficiency
  • Sustainable development
  • Carbon footprint
  • Energy policy
  • Projections
  • Decade
  • Significant shifts
  • Economic factors
  • Environmental impact
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