IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the information from 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030.

The graph below shows the information from 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
the presented line chart illustrates how
american
Change the capitalization
American
show examples
 energy consumption(petrol and oil, coal ,natural gas and nuclear,solar and hydropower )over the
period
Use synonyms
 since 1980 with projections until 2030.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the data of six types varied significantly during the
period
Use synonyms
 shown. It is
also
Linking Words
 noticeable that petrol and oil, coal are expected to continue to increase in the upcoming times and
four
Correct article usage
the four
show examples
 remaining types
also
Linking Words
 slow rise. Looking at the line chart more closely,one can see that from 1980 to 2030
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
coal,which grew rapidly over the
period
Use synonyms
 and
then
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
petrol and oil only
slow
Change the word
slowly
show examples
go
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 down in step between 1980 and 1995 after that
it is
Verb problem
,
show examples
 making them the highest number compared to the five remaining years.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,in the past
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nuclear and solar/wind recorded
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lower rates from 1980 to 2000 and the rapid influx of energy
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
throughout the
period
Use synonyms
 shown.
Linking Words
finally
Capitalize word
Finally
show examples
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
natural gas and hydropower
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
decline
Replace the word
declined
show examples
 temporarily in the past but in the future it remains immense over the
period
Use synonyms
 from 2005 to 2030

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words period with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rapidly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slow" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Energy consumption
  • Renewable resources
  • Non-renewable resources
  • Fossil fuels
  • Nuclear power
  • Hydroelectric power
  • Solar energy
  • Wind energy
  • Biomass
  • Consumption patterns
  • Technological advancements
  • Energy efficiency
  • Sustainable development
  • Carbon footprint
  • Energy policy
  • Projections
  • Decade
  • Significant shifts
  • Economic factors
  • Environmental impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays: