IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The chart below shows the percentage of adults who received qualifications from a range of education providers in three years. The chart below shows the percentage of adults who received qualifications from a range of education providers in three years.

The chart below shows the percentage of adults who received qualifications from a range of education providers in three years. The chart below shows the percentage of adults who received qualifications from a range of education providers in three years.
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The bar above
illustates
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 the level of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physical
activity
Use synonyms
 between males and females in Australia between
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
24
Change preposition
of 24
show examples
 to above 65 in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 placed on the chart
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
Use synonyms
men
Change noun form
men's
show examples
activity
Use synonyms
 over different
age
Use synonyms
 groups
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 declining with
advnaced
Correct your spelling
advanced
age
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the women
activity
Use synonyms
 is growing over
years
Use synonyms
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 becoming equal
as
Change preposition
to
show examples
men
Use synonyms
 later on life.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
men
Change noun form
men's
show examples
 workout is significantly high
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
52% between 15 to 24
years
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it became
flactuated
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
fluctuate
 in
age
Use synonyms
 groups between 25 to 54
years
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it picked up slightly again to 45% at
age
Use synonyms
 55 to 64.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the level of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
activity
Use synonyms
 stayed almost static at 46% at
age
Use synonyms
 65 and over.
Secondly
Linking Words
, women
on the other hand
Linking Words
 showed
steady
Add an article
a steady
show examples
 increment in
phyisical
Correct your spelling
physical
activity
Use synonyms
 from 15 to 64
years
Use synonyms
 with
percentage
Add an article
a percentage
show examples
 between 47% to 53%.
Finally
Linking Words
, it
droped
Correct your spelling
dropped
 minimally to 47% at
age
Use synonyms
 65 and over to be equal
as
Change preposition
to
show examples
men
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words activity, age, men, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • qualifications
  • education providers
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • analyze
  • comparing
  • examine
  • impact
  • external factors
  • employment rates
  • educational policies
  • implications
  • skill development
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