In many places of the world, more larger supermarkets are built while smaller local shops are closing down. Are there more advantages or disadvantages to local people?

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With increased globalisation, consumerisation
also
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increased significantly. Every individual wants to get more and more new
products
Use synonyms
in
fascany
Correct your spelling
Tuscany
and luxurious shops.
While
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this
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may provide few benefits,
this
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may affect the
grow
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growth
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and economy of local
small scale
Add a hyphen
small-scale
show examples
shops.
This
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passage will
elobrate
Correct your spelling
elaborate
celebrate
the benefits and drawbacks of
supermarket
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the supermarket
a supermarket
show examples
.
Firstly
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,
hypermarket
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hypermarkets
show examples
are more advantageous as
their
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there
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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lot
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a lot
show examples
of choices for particular
item
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items
show examples
, availability
almost
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of almost
show examples
all the
products
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, free parking facilities and
childern's
Correct your spelling
children's
fun
area
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areas
show examples
.
For example
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, Hyper Panda and
Carefour
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Carrefour
provides
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provide
show examples
customers with
variety
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a variety
show examples
of meat
products
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from Americana, Alyoum and Fastmeat companies with
variation
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variations
show examples
in price
rate
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rates
show examples
. An individual can look into these
products
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,
compare
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and compare
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and select meat
according to
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their budget and needs. On
contrary
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the contrary
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, these types of places
increases
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increase
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non-essential consumerisation and time
consuming
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consumption
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. The
small scale
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small-scale
show examples
local business whether it is a farmers market or provision store provides
consumer
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consumers
show examples
with limited
products
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at considerably cheaper and fresh
products
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. With
blooming
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the blooming
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of fancy supermarkets and hypermarkets with
plethora
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a plethora
the plethora
show examples
of advertisements, the people are attracted towards these places.
This
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has affected the growth and economic
slow down
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slowdown
show examples
for local markets. For
instances
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instance
show examples
, in
recent
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a recent
show examples
study
Add a comma
study,
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it was found that over 40% of inland shops had been closed with the blooming of supermarkets
and
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apply
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considerably affected the
lifehood
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lives
of native citizens. In the epilogue,
while
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supermarket provides various positive benefits, I strongly believe that it significantly affects the local
small scale
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small-scale
show examples
markets. The people
has
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have
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to support and encourage
the
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their
show examples
fellow human
being
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beings
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who are our close kith and kin,
instead
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of promoting and
encouging
Correct your spelling
encouraging
outside cooperate sectors.

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task achievement
The introduction could be clearer in stating your position on the advantages and disadvantages of supermarkets.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to structure your paragraphs with clear topic sentences, supporting sentences, and concluding sentences to improve logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Improve spelling and grammar, particularly with words like 'fascany' (fascination), 'elobrate' (elaborate), 'childern's' (children's), 'hypermarket' (should be plural), 'the grow and economy' (growth and economy), and 'epilogue' (should be conclusion).
content
The essay presents a clear argument about the impact of supermarkets versus local shops, which is a relevant and timely topic.
relevance
You provide specific examples such as Hyper Panda and Carefour which demonstrate an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economies of scale
  • one-stop shopping
  • artisanal products
  • community impact
  • personalized service
  • economy boost
  • unique local products
  • price competition
  • local businesses
  • consumer benefits
What to do next:
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