IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some businesses now say that no-one can smoke cigarettes in any of their offices. Some governments have banned smoking in all public places. Do you agree or disagree with this?

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It is considered by some entrepreneurs that smoking is prohibited in all their offices
as well as
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
government officials have agreed to follow
no
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 smoke policy in public
areas
Use synonyms
. I completely agree with the
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
show examples
, no smoking in common
areas
Use synonyms
 of
work
Use synonyms
 or public, which is not only injuries to our
health
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 to the
people
Use synonyms
 around us.
Work
Use synonyms
space
Fix the agreement mistake
spaces
show examples
 can be prone to
fire
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
docuements
Correct your spelling
documents
 and other
Use synonyms
fire hazardous
Add a hyphen
fire-hazardous
show examples
 things,
while
Linking Words
 most public
areas
Use synonyms
 are used by elderly
people
Use synonyms
 and young children
such
Linking Words
 as parks and gardens. No smoking is commonly practiced in offices, schools and other works places to protect the infrastructure, important
docuements
Correct your spelling
documents
, and
Use synonyms
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 of employees.
For example
Linking Words
, smoking
cigrarettes
Correct your spelling
cigarettes
 can release smoke in the
work
Use synonyms
 atmosphere and cause breathing issues to some or if the live cigarette bud is mistaken
throw
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
then
Linking Words
 it can create
fire
Use synonyms
. It is vital to eliminate any problems that can be caused by careless smoking. I think a better option is to dedicate a smoking area outside the
work
Use synonyms
 environment.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 has taken initiatives to the protect
health
Use synonyms
 of
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 by prohibiting smoking in common
areas
Use synonyms
. Parks, gardens,
recreational
Correct word choice
and recreational
show examples
 activity
areas
Use synonyms
 are all examples of public spaces. Smoking is believed to be harmful to the active smoker
as well as
Linking Words
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 passive smoker.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 with asthma
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to be in
smoke free
Add a hyphen
smoke-free
show examples
areas
Use synonyms
, so that they can be comfortable and enjoy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time with their family and
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 especially if they are in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
common spaces. Infants, children and elderly
people
Use synonyms
, all have
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 to
breath
Replace the word
breathe
show examples
 in fresh air which is not
contamined
Correct your spelling
contaminated
contained
 by smokers. I believe considering
Use synonyms
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
 of our community is as important as keeping our environment
pollution free
Add a hyphen
pollution-free
show examples
 by not producing more carbon and releasing
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
 nature through cigarettes or any other smoking products. In conclusion, to prevent many from smoking,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 and some
people
Use synonyms
 in business have supported the opinion that it should be discouraged, to promote good
health
Use synonyms
 and safety of all. I agree with
this
Linking Words
, as we must consider the
health
Use synonyms
 of
common
Add an article
the common
show examples
 public which involves
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
 and young
people
Use synonyms
 in our community. It is essential that we
must
Verb problem
apply
show examples
avoid smoking in works
place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
 to avoid any
fire
Use synonyms
 hazards and keep our public space clear from active and passive smokers to support good
health
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly define your position in the introduction and restate it in the conclusion for stronger coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences could be more concise to improve clarity. For example, rephrase 'is not only injuries to our health but also to the people around us' to 'is harmful not only to our health but also to those around us.'
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the progression of ideas is logical and well-linked. Consider using more linking words and phrases to create smoother transitions between points.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your viewpoints, particularly regarding health risks and the need for smoke-free environments.
task achievement
Your argumentation shows a clear understanding of the implications of smoking bans for both health and safety, which is commendable.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • second-hand smoke
  • respiratory diseases
  • healthcare costs
  • productivity
  • fire hazards
  • environmental advantages
  • aesthetics
  • non-smokers
  • personal freedom
  • well-being
  • smoking bans
What to do next:
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