IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The success of a business or sports team depends more on the leader of that team than on the individual team members. This is because it is the leader who makes sure everyone works together to achieve the team's goals. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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I partially agree with
this
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 opinion. A strong leader plays a crucial role in ensuring that a business or sports
team
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 functions effectively, providing vision, strategy, and motivation.
However
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, success is not solely dependent on
leadership
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; the individual
team
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 members’ skills, cooperation, and dedication are equally important. A great leader sets the direction, unites the
team
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, and helps resolve conflicts. In sports,
for example
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, a coach develops tactics and keeps players motivated. In business, a CEO or manager ensures that employees work towards common goals. Without effective
leadership
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, even the most talented teams can lack coordination and fail to achieve success.
However
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,
leadership
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 alone cannot guarantee victory. Even with a great coach, a sports
team
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 will struggle if the players lack skill or teamwork.
Similarly
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, a business cannot thrive without competent employees who contribute their expertise and innovation. The leader may guide, but it is the
team
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 members who execute plans and deliver results. In conclusion,
while
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leadership
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 is vital for success, the collective effort of individual members is just as important. A balance between strong
leadership
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 and capable
team
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 members is the key to achieving great results.

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples to illustrate your points. For instance, mentioning a successful sports team or business under effective leadership to support your argument can enhance your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. You may want to include some linking phrases to enhance the flow of ideas between paragraphs.
task achievement
You present a clear position on the topic, stating your partial agreement clearly in the introduction, which guides the reader on your stance.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a strong logical structure, with separate paragraphs dedicated to discussing the role of leadership and the importance of individual contributions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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