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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure, and work activities. To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages?

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In today's world, information technology affects almost every field of humans' lives.
Although
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 it brings with itself many drawbacks, there are more advantages than negative sides.
This
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 essay will explain the positive effects of IT and give several examples about the topic. In favour of its benefit, with the entrance of information technology into our lives, people started to be more connected with each other. Thanks to social media platforms, every user of these programs from any part of the world can easily communicate with their relatives and friends.
For example
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, via Instagram, it is possible to share videos, photos, memories, contact
with
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apply
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others, comment on different posts and so on. Despite the fact that social media software may create addiction, the correct use of
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 benefits our relationships.
Likewise
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, another beneficial side of IT is that fulfilling the needs of the population
became
Wrong verb form
has become
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 more comfortable. In the modern era, the most convenient way to buy something is online shopping. Without leaving home, with only one click, it's
available
Correct word choice
possible
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 to get new products, foods, clothes and other requirements.
For instance
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, there is an online store called "Trendyol" that sells different types of goods through the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 and consumers can shop online. If there were no online shopping platforms, everybody would have to go to traditional stores where they live and it could cause traffic problems in the cities. In conclusion, even though communication technology has some disadvantages, if we use
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 in an appropriate way,
then
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 positive results will appear. For that, society should be aware of the great opportunities of IT and implement them in their life.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the topic and your opinion, which is great. However, you could enhance the introduction by briefly mentioning the disadvantages of IT to provide a more balanced view right from the start.
coherence and cohesion
The transitions between paragraphs are generally smooth, but consider using more varied linking phrases for your ideas to improve flow. For instance, instead of starting both supporting paragraphs with 'In favour of its benefit' and 'Likewise', try introducing variety in your paragraph openings.
task achievement
While your examples are relevant, integrating a counterargument or mentioning specific drawbacks in each paragraph could provide a more comprehensive discussion and show critical thinking.
task achievement
Your essay effectively presents a clear stance that the benefits of IT outweigh the disadvantages, which is crucial for task achievement.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, like social media and online shopping, helps to illustrate your points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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