IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You recently visited a public library in your town and found some facilities were not in good condition. Write a letter to the library manager. In your letter: Describe the problems you found Explain how these problems affected your visit Suggest what the library should do to improve

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my concern about the poor condition of some facilities in the library. I recently visited there, to have some peaceful environment to complete my office work. But
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 noticed that the condition of
furniture
Correct article usage
the furniture
show examples
 was not so good, some chairs were making noise because of their poor condition.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, Wifi is
also
Linking Words
 not working and when I asked
assistance
Change preposition
for assistance
show examples
 from one of your
employee
Change to a plural noun
employees
show examples
 he did not
respone
Correct your spelling
respond
response
 in an appropriate way.
Due to
Linking Words
 these unfavourable conditions, I failed to complete my project on time, and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 had to face
conequence
Correct your spelling
consequence
consequences
 for that. because these are the basic facilities
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
needed in the library. I kindly request the library management to either repair or change the old furniture,
also
Linking Words
 wifi should be working all the time so that it will be convenient for all the users. It would
be highly request
Change the verb form
be highly requested
show examples
 to train your employees so that they can have a
lnowledge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 to solve customers problems.These changes will help provide a better experience for all visitors. Thank you for your attention to
this
Linking Words
 matter. I hope to see improvements soon. Yours faithfully, Raman

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use more varied sentence structures to enhance your writing style.
Task Achievement
Make sure to proofread for small grammatical errors, such as 'i' instead of 'I' and 'respone' instead of 'response'.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider organizing your points in a clearer manner, perhaps by separating problems and suggestions into distinct paragraphs.
Task Achievement
The letter effectively communicates your concerns about the library's facilities which is important in a task response.
Task Achievement
You maintained a polite tone throughout the letter, which is appropriate for a formal request.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: