IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. What, in your opinion, should be the main function of a university? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. No less than 250 words.

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Nowadays, an increasing number of people are concerned about the purpose that
university
Use synonyms
 education serves.
However
Linking Words
, whether they should mainly provide job-related
skills
Use synonyms
 or pure knowledge to graduates has caused a heated debate. My view is that practical
skills
Use synonyms
 should be the main focus of
universities
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
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, it is obvious that for most students, the purpose of receiving
Use synonyms
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 education is to obtain specific knowledge and
skills
Use synonyms
, which will enable them to become qualified employees in the future job market.
This
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 is because
after
Add the comma(s)
, after
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 graduation, most of them will enter
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
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, earn their living, and raise their own families. So
universities
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, as service providers, have to give top priority to their customers' real needs.
Moreover
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, focusing on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job-related
skills
Use synonyms
 can benefit the
university
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 itself.
For example
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, the science fiction Hocketer "Avatar" has marked a milestone in the filmmaking industry and sparked massive interest in 3D technology. If a
university
Use synonyms
 can quickly respond, and consolidate teaching resources to offer courses regarding SD, not only will
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
graduates be more competitive in the near future, but the
university
Use synonyms
 itself
wil
Correct your spelling
will
 keep pace with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
moder
Correct your spelling
modern
 technological development and move forward.
That is
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 not to say that
universities
Use synonyms
 should not pay any attention to pure scientific research. There are, of course, students interested in theoretical knowledge
such
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 as math and philosophy, and they will later become scientists and scholars who will make greater contributions to our society. But unfortunately, these people are few and far between. In summary, the major function of
universities
Use synonyms
 should be providing students
job-related
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with job-related
show examples
skills
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, guaranteeing
high
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a high
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 rate of employment, and
thus
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 helping
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society function better. Meanwhile, we should not ignore the other important roles
universities
Use synonyms
 are undertaking. Only by doing so can
universities
Use synonyms
 maintain dynamic and sustainable development.

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task achievement
Your introduction presents the topic well, but could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that strongly outlines your stance. Consider directly stating your main argument in a concise manner.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is generally logical, but some ideas could be organized more clearly with better transitions between points. For instance, make sure each paragraph smoothly leads to the next to improve overall flow.
task achievement
While you provide some examples, such as the mention of the film industry, ensure that they are relevant and clearly connected to your main argument. Always tie examples back to the core idea you’re discussing.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument advocating for job-related skills in university education, which is articulated well throughout the text.
task achievement
You have a good understanding of the topic and present distinct views on the necessity of practical skills versus pure knowledge, showcasing depth in your analysis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Lifelong learning
  • Holistic development
  • Vocational training
  • Industry-specific competencies
  • Critical thinking
  • Creative problem-solving
  • Academic research
  • Intellectual development
  • Ethics and values
  • Societal contribution
  • Job market demands
  • Practical training
  • Internships
  • Knowledge advancement
  • Global challenges
What to do next:
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