IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that you can only learn about the cultures of different place by traveling to there. other people think that you can learn just as much about these places from reading books and watching travel documentaries about them. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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Many
human
Change to a plural noun
humans
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 think that people
has
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have
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 just one chance
for
Change preposition
to
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 learn new traditions. It is exploring
differnet
Correct your spelling
different
 kinds of new areas.
In contrast
Linking Words
, some part of
crowd
Add an article
the crowd
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 thinks searching
information
Change preposition
for information
show examples
 from essays and documentaries are better way than
first
Change the article
the first
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 idea. These options have pros and cons.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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to
Change preposition
apply
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somewhere is
good
Add an article
a good
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 option for learning
new
Change preposition
about new
show examples
 cultures because when we see different cultures, these are
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a memory in our
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
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. Not only
this
Linking Words
,
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apply
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 but
also
Linking Words
 it is being
a
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an
show examples
 experience for our
live
Replace the word
lives
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. Inıtally,
brain's
Correct article usage
the brain's
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chemichal
Correct your spelling
chemical
 structure
working
Wrong verb form
works
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 like a camera.
For instance
Linking Words
, when
Correct article usage
the human's
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human's
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human
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 eye
see
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sees
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a
Correct article usage
the
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 colours and
shape
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shapes
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 of something
that is
Linking Words
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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permanantly
Correct your spelling
permanent
 information.
On the other hand
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, watching or reading materials are different. If
compare
Correct your spelling
compared
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 to reading to
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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, some
diversitys
Correct your spelling
diversity
diversities
 can be
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, watching or reading materials are different. Inıtıally,
while
Linking Words
 learning from
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
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 or essays by
reader
Add an article
the reader
a reader
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,
reader
Add an article
the reader
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 should read
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 twice and he should highlight
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
significant parts of
essays
Correct article usage
the essays
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.
For example
Linking Words
, lectures' notes or new info must
learn
Wrong verb form
be learned
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 with
memorize
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memorisation
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 and highlight methods. If colleges don't use these methods., his job will be hard In my opinion, exploring and real trips are better than books or official materials because it is funny but
also
Linking Words
 interesting for me.

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task achievement
Expand your introduction to clearly state both views and your personal opinion in the thesis statement.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the structure by clearly separating ideas into paragraphs, making sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or experiences to support your points on culture learning through travel and reading.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which is important for task achievement.
task achievement
You included personal opinion, which adds a personal touch to the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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