IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some children find some subjects such as Maths and philosophy too difficult to learn, so some people argue that these subjects should be optional rather than compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree? agree = concentrate in interesting, creative disagree = general knowledge, find interesting

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Some children
Linking Words
this day
Rephrase
apply
show examples
find some
subjects
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
Maths
Use synonyms
 and
philosophy
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
so difficult to learn,
because
Correct word choice
and because
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
,some people
were arguing
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 these
subjects
Use synonyms
 should be easier rather than compulsory. For me,
Philosophy
Use synonyms
 is just a little bit kind of hard to me,but
Maths
Use synonyms
 is something that I really hate to learn too.I
also
Linking Words
arguing
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
 about
Maths
Use synonyms
 because it
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 me stress when solving it.So,I agree with the people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
arguing
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
 about
Maths
Use synonyms
 that it should be optional more.There are some
Use synonyms
Maths
Fix the agreement mistake
math
show examples
 problems that I cannot even understand what it
was talk
Change the verb form
was talking
was talked
show examples
 about or what it
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 me to solve
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.If there be a choice between optional rather than compulsory,I would choose that
Maths
Use synonyms
 should be optional more
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
.But there are some of
Use synonyms
Maths
Correct article usage
the Maths
show examples
 problems
were
Correct pronoun usage
that were
show examples
also
Linking Words
 easy to understand too,just because sometimes we were too much arguing and
stress
Wrong verb form
stressed
show examples
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 it,
this
Linking Words
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
 us feel really hard to do it.
Instead
Linking Words
 of arguing,maybe we can take a rest and try to solve it step by step. For
Philosophy
Use synonyms
,I don't
kind having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 a problem
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
 it.It
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 like
Maths
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
subjects
Fix the agreement mistake
subject
show examples
not
Add a missing verb
does not
show examples
 need to remember
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
equations or steps of how to
slove
Correct your spelling
solve
show examples
a problems
Correct the article-noun agreement
problems
a problem
show examples
.
Philosophy
Use synonyms
 is a subject that have
learn
Wrong verb form
learned
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
by nature.It can
also
Linking Words
optional
Add a missing verb
be optional
show examples
 a little bit,which is
a
Correct pronoun usage
what a
show examples
lot of people
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
show examples
 to
.
Add a missing verb
do.
show examples
 In conclusion,every
Use synonyms
subjects
Change to a singular noun
subject
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a hard problem
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,whether is English,Science,
Philosophy
Use synonyms
 and
Maths
Use synonyms
,we still have to learn and try to stay calm
down
Change preposition
apply
show examples
when we doing it,
instead
Linking Words
 of arguing like
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
we always
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
,even I
also
Linking Words
 doing it eventually.But I would still want to
optinal
Correct your spelling
optional
 Math
subjects
Use synonyms
 more.

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Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction presents your view but could be clearer and more structured. Make sure to formulate your thesis statement clearly to indicate your stance on the topic. You can also enrich your introduction with a brief overview of the main points to be discussed in the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your ideas are present, they need to be more developed and organized. Each paragraph should focus on a specific idea, and it would be helpful to use clear topic sentences to guide the reader. Consider separating your thoughts on Maths and Philosophy into different paragraphs to enhance clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and more complex sentence structures. This will not only make your writing more engaging but also improve your score in coherence and cohesion. Avoid repetitive phrases and strive for variety in your expression.
Task Achievement
Make sure to proofread your essay for grammatical errors and typos. Mistakes can obscure your meaning and lessen the overall effectiveness of your argument. Focus on sentence structure to ensure clarity and fluidity for your reader.
Task Achievement
You expressed a personal viewpoint, which adds a unique touch to your essay. This personal engagement can help connect with readers and illustrates that you are invested in the topic.
Task Achievement
You made an effort to provide examples from your own experience regarding Maths and Philosophy, which gives credibility to your argument and makes your points more relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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