IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experince and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Education
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 is important to acquire
job
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a job
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 in the desired
field
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. Some argue that
,
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apply
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 work
experience
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 and developing interpersonal
skills
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 are more essential. I believe that
,
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apply
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 to be successful in any
field
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, all components above-mentioned are vital. To
began
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begin
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 with,
education
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 provides
individuals
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 with the foundational knowledge and
skills
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 necessary to excel in their chosen fields. It helps
individuals
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 develop critical thinking, problem-solving, and analytical abilities, vital in navigating complex workplace environments.
Secondly
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,
experience
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 complements
education
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 by providing
individuals
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 with real-world exposure to their chosen
field
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. Through practical
experience
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,
individuals
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 can apply the knowledge and
skills
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 gained through
education
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 in a professional setting.
This
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 allows
individuals
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 to gain hands-on
experience
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, test their theoretical knowledge, and develop a deeper understanding of their
field
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.
On the other hand
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, developing soft
skills
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,
such
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 as communication, teamwork, leadership, and emotional intelligence, is equally crucial in ensuring career success. Soft
skills
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 are often referred to as "people
skills
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" and are essential in fostering healthy relationships with colleagues, clients, and stakeholders.
Moreover
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, soft
skills
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 are increasingly valued by employers, as they contribute to a positive work environment, enhance productivity, and differentiate
individuals
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 in a competitive job market. In conclusion,
education
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,
experience
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, and the development of soft
skills
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 are interconnected elements that contribute to the
overall
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 professional development and success of
individuals
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 in their careers. By prioritizing these aspects,
individuals
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 can equip themselves with the tools and capabilities necessary to thrive in today's dynamic and ever-evolving workplace.

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear position and adequately addresses both sides of the argument. However, further development of your points with specific examples could strengthen your argument and provide clearer illustrations of your claims.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that discuss individual points, and a solid conclusion. Ensure that each body paragraph remains focused on a single idea to improve clarity and flow.
Task Achievement
While your points are relevant, providing specific examples or case studies to support your arguments would enhance the depth of your discussion and make your points more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion by outlining the importance of both education and experience in career success, providing a good overview of what to expect from the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion nicely summarizes the main arguments and reinforces the interconnectedness of education, experience, and soft skills, leaving the reader with a clear understanding of your viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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