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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The diagrams below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The maps illustrated above depict the differences in the
park
Use synonyms
 between the year 1920 and the current time.
Overall
Linking Words
, the area of the
park
Use synonyms
 has changed drastically with more visitor-friendly facilities and
in contrast
Linking Words
, fewer
garden
Use synonyms
 spaces making it less green.
According to
Linking Words
 the diagram, it seems that all seats at the corners of the
park
Use synonyms
 have moved to the central area on the four sides of the new rose
garden
Use synonyms
 replacing the old fountain. the top right rose
garden
Use synonyms
 was
also
Linking Words
 demolished and gave its place to a cafe left of the children's play area which was once a pond for water plants.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, on the bottom
side
Use synonyms
 of the part was a rose
garden
Use synonyms
 on the right which doesn't exist anymore and
also
Linking Words
 the right
side
Use synonyms
 has a water feature replacing the old glasshouse. Regarding the smaller changes, the two entrances on the upper
side
Use synonyms
 and the lower
side
Use synonyms
 of the schematic are unchanged connecting the place to northern Arnold Avenue and southern Eldon Street but in the meanwhile, An underground car parking exists in today's plot of
this
Linking Words
park
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the stage has remained in the same place
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but converted from a tiny stage for musicians to a bigger concert amphitheatre.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words park, garden, side with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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