IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do yu think might be effective?

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This
Linking Words
 essay deals with the agreement
that is
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 related to
Correct article usage
the raise
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raise
Correct your spelling
rise
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of
Change preposition
in
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cost
Correct article usage
the cost
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in
Change preposition
of
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 petrol will resolve
traffic
Use synonyms
 and
pollution
Use synonyms
. I totally disagree with
this
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 logic, because there are other factors taken into consideration for rising
pollution
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.Let's discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
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that in the upcoming Paragraph.
Firstly
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 ,
The
Correct article usage
apply
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pollution
Use synonyms
 is caused
out of
Change preposition
by
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 many things like from factory, where they produce oil and sugar.I agree
the
Correct your spelling
that
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 transportation leads to a visible factor but
unvisible
Correct your spelling
invisible
 factors like industry waste create a
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
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impact
Change preposition
of impact
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to
Change preposition
on
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 the environment .
Furthermore
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, the waste from
factory
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factories
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 when
mixes
Wrong verb form
mixed
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 with
a
Correct article usage
the
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 soil,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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destroys
the
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apply
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human health.Though, if you increase the price of petrol , people who use their own
transporatation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 still stick to the same mode, because of their
comfortness
Correct your spelling
comforts
 and
thats
Correct your spelling
that's
show examples
 not going to change anyway in resolving the
traffic
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 system. So,
i
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I
show examples
 strongly
wont
Add an apostrophe
won't
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 recommend the statement.
Secondly
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, focusing on reducing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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pollution
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 by limiting the multiple
delivery
Change to a plural noun
deliveries
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 in
logistic
Add an article
the logistic
a logistic
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company
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companies
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 would be
a
Remove the article
apply
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another great start to
reduce
Change the verb form
reducing
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pollution
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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 , Amazon uses small
truck
Fix the agreement mistake
trucks
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 to deliver
the
Correct article usage
apply
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products from one place to another, because of the capacity of
truck
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the truck
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 they might need to use their transport more than 2 times, which will create
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
carbon
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
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.
Instead
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 ,If they use a large size of vehicle they can reduce the number of
visit
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visits
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 to the destination port and less
affect
Replace the word
effect
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 will be there. Moving forward ,the
traffic
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 system can be solved by fixing the rule for Cargo and other larger vehicles by setting a time frame for them
.
Correct your spelling
For
for instance
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, they can access the road lane from 10 pm to 5:00am.By implementing
this
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 measure the
traffic
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 can be reduced during day and evening time.
To Conclude
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 , Petrol cost doesn't give
solution
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a solution
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 for solving issues ,
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moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
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 it only affects the economy when the price is kept high. Focusing on reducing the number of vehicle access and other
pollution
Use synonyms
 created by
manufacturer
Fix the agreement mistake
manufacturers
show examples
 helps to control the Situation.

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Task Achievement
Make sure your thesis statement clearly reflects your stance, and outline your key points to be discussed in the introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea, and use appropriate linking words to improve flow between ideas.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to support your arguments, as this will strengthen your points and reflect a deeper understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
You clearly expressed your opinion regarding the main issue of petrol prices and their impact on traffic and pollution.
Task Achievement
You proposed alternative measures to tackle the identified problems, which shows a proactive approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • pollution
  • deter
  • financially burdensome
  • lower-income individuals
  • public transport
  • availability
  • reliability
  • affordability
  • practical alternative
  • private cars
  • carpooling
  • ride-sharing initiatives
  • vehicles on the road
  • cutting down on traffic
  • emissions
  • infrastructure
  • cyclists
  • pedestrians
  • healthy
  • environmentally friendly
  • modes of transport
  • emission standards
  • incentivizing
  • electric vehicles
  • hybrid vehicles
  • overall pollution
  • impacting
  • congestion charges
  • high-traffic areas
  • peak hours
  • discourage
  • unnecessary trips
  • reduce traffic jams
  • penalizing
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