IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that it is a good thing for senior management positions to have much higher salaries than other workers in a company. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

There is a recent argument that seniors are getting higher payroll than the other
employees
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,
whereas
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 others think it has to be equal to others.In my opinion, I believe seniors are supposed to get higher salaries compared to juniors
due to
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 their workload.
This
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 essay will demonstrate these issues deeper. First of all, Senior staff are highly experienced and
skillful
Change the spelling
skilful
show examples
than ex other people in the office.
Moreover
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, they literally
work
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 for half a decade to become high-level positions like Manager or Supervisor because of
this
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,
salary
Correct article usage
the salary
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 should be higher.
Additionally
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, they are assigned to train new
employees
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,despite managing other duties, senior
employees
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 might thoroughly take care of their processing beyond their other
work
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.
Secondly
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,they are responsible for projects.
on the other hand
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,aforementioned paragraph Managers play a vital role in leading projects,especially managing the teams, like organizing the
work
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 and splitting the teams.
Likewise
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, if anything miscommunication or problems occur, they are responsible for solving the issues and making it right or else getting a depromotion or fired.
For example
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, in
India
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India,
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 if a staff forgets to check the calculation it makes him resign. Upon these circumstances and hardship head should get more wages. In conclusion, people say Firms should pay the amount of salary same as higher officials.But it is crucial to understand that, compared to low-level
employees
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 they
got
Verb problem
have
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 more workload.Meanwhile, they
got
Verb problem
have
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 responsibilities
on
Change preposition
for
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 training newbie staff.Apparently in their
work
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 time.
Likewise
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,leading a project and working under pressure beyond managing the environment and running smoothly.
Thus
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,with their experience and
skills
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skills,
show examples
 they should get a high salary.

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task achievement
Clarify your main argument in the introduction, as it's currently a bit vague. Consider stating your stance more directly to enhance clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that supporting details consistently relate back to that idea for better coherence.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. Current examples are somewhat general and could be more impactful.
coherence and cohesion
Work on sentence variety and structure to improve the overall flow of your writing. Some sentences are quite similar in length and structure, which can affect readability.
task achievement
You effectively acknowledge the opposing viewpoint, which adds depth to your argument.
task achievement
Your conclusion summarizes your points adequately, reinforcing the argument for higher salaries for senior positions.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Senior management
  • Salary disparity
  • Incentives
  • Income inequality
  • Organizational culture
  • Career progression
  • Employee morale
  • Compensation
  • Financial success
  • Decision-making
  • Responsibility
  • Merit
What to do next:
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