IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?Assel

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Over the past three decades, the number of privately owned cars has increased dramatically, leading to significant
traffic
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 congestion in many
cities
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 worldwide. The claim that many
cities
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 have turned into “one big
traffic
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 jam” is largely accurate.
Although
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 some
cities
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 have managed to develop efficient
transport
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 systems, many urban areas are now struggling with constant
traffic
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 jams. Many
cities
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 in the world are now “one big
traffic
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 jam.” Roads are often overcrowded, especially during rush hours.
Additionally
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, public
transport
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 systems are either insufficient or unreliable, forcing people to rely on their own vehicles.
This
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further
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 exacerbates
traffic
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 problems, making commuting inefficient and frustrating. To address
this
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 issue, governments can implement to discourage excessive car use. Expanding and modernizing public
transport
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 systems
such
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 as buses, trams, and metro networks can provide an attractive alternative to private cars. Higher taxes on petrol and expensive parking fees can discourage people from using their cars unnecessarily. In conclusion, the rapid increase in car ownership has led to serious
traffic
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 congestion in many
cities
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 worldwide.
While
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this
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 problem is widespread, governments can take effective measures
such
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 as improving public
transport
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 and implementing congestion charges.

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task achievement
To improve the clarity of your ideas, consider providing more specific examples of cities that experience traffic congestion and any successful measures they have implemented.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance your essay's cohesion by using more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that all measures suggested are grammatically parallel and clearly articulated. For example, the phrase 'implement to discourage' can be rephrased to 'implement measures to discourage'.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the issue and your stance on it, setting a good foundation for the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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