IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development?

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Few nations have implemented
laws
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 to set boundaries on
working
Correct article usage
the working
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 hours of an employee. These
laws
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 are introduced
for maintaining
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to maintain
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 a
work
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-life balance. In my opinion, they have a beneficial impact on
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 and
ofcourse
Correct your spelling
of course
, it is a positive development. When it comes to
work
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 everyone wants to do it as much as possible and provide a better life for their family. Because family is everything, and they don't worry
to
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about working
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work
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over
Correct your spelling
overtime
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time
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 for the sake of family.
Although
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,
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apply
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 they are trying their best, a simple logic is being missed by all.
That is
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 spending quality
time
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 and making an emotional connection with their loved ones.
However
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, health is a key factor and
also
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 having
Correct article usage
a personal-life
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personal-life
Correct your spelling
personal life
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 is crucial.
Due to
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 the overtime, many of them are not getting
time
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 for themselves.
As a result
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, frustration, Irritation and Stress are common in them. A serious issue, that many families are
at
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on
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a
Correct article usage
the
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 verge
to break
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of breaking
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due to
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Correct article usage
the misbalance
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misbalance
Correct your spelling
imbalance
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 of
work
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 and personal life. I appreciate that government, understood the inconvenience caused and introduced
laws
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.
Due to
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 heavy workloads and increased working hours, they are completely neglecting themselves. After implementing these
laws
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 they are getting some
time
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 to
work
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 on their personal health like doing exercises, maintaining diets, Meditations to relieve stress and
also
Linking Words
 spending quality
time
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 with their dear ones. In conclusion, introducing restrictions on working hours benefited many
of
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apply
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people who
work
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 and
also
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 helped them to pay attention
for
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to
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 their personal life. Meanwhile,
this
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also
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 helped
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
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 be more socially active and make emotional
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
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 with their families by giving 
time
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 to them.

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coherence
Some sentences are slightly unclear and could benefit from more precise wording. For example, clarify 'they are completely neglecting themselves' that it refers specifically to employees neglecting their health.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion regarding the introduction of laws on working hours, stating it's positive. This is effectively communicated throughout the piece.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Burnout
  • 2. Work-life balance
  • 3. Productivity
  • 4. Diminishing returns
  • 5. Ethical responsibility
  • 6. Exploitation
  • 7. Fair labor practices
  • 8. Chronic illnesses
  • 9. Job creation
  • 10. Unemployment rates
What to do next:
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