IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

There was an advert inviting applications for a certain job in the local newspaper. Write to Human Resource Department. In your letter, describe the job you are applying for and your relevant work experience. In your letter • say about the job position you are applying for • describe your experience • describe how your current job and the one you are applying for is a good match

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter in connection to the job posting that you published in today's newspaper.
While
Linking Words
 reading the newspaper, I saw
you
Change the pronoun
your
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 advertisement that you are hiring a person
for
Change preposition
to
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 capture the photo or
making
Wrong verb form
make
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 videos. I have a keen interest in photography and love to work with passion
along
Linking Words
with
Change preposition
apply
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creativity.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I have two years of experience in
this
Linking Words
 field as a professional
camera
Use synonyms
 women in movies
as well as
Linking Words
, I worked with experts and learned how to capture a moment in
better
Add an article
a better
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 way.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, I have my own shop where I do all the editing.
Although
Linking Words
 I have a few
camera
Use synonyms
lens
Change to a plural noun
lenses
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, I will never give you a chance of failure to present my work. Despite
this
Linking Words
, as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mentioned in
above
Correct article usage
the above
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 paragraph
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
I
passionate
Add a missing verb
am passionate
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 about my work. I
also
Linking Words
 worked in some films as
main
Correct article usage
the main
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camera
Use synonyms
 person so, I thought It would be easy for me to make the news
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
presentable way by using different
set
Fix the agreement mistake
sets
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 of cameras. How a person
using
Wrong verb form
uses
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 the
camera
Use synonyms
 is
utmost
Change preposition
of utmost
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 in both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
jobs. It would be really appreciated, if you give me the opportunity. I am looking forward to your prompt response.
Your
Correct the word
Yours
show examples
 sincerely, Manjinder Kaur

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coherence and cohesion
Consider improving the structure of your letter by having clear paragraphs that focus on a single idea. For example, one paragraph could detail your experience while another discusses why you are a good match for the job.
task achievement
Make sure to use correct phrasing in your sentences. For example, instead of 'for capture the photo or making videos', you could say 'for capturing photographs and making videos'.
task achievement
Check the grammar and spelling in your letter. For instance, 'I saw you advertisement' should be 'I saw your advertisement'.
strength
You have shown a clear passion for photography, which is great to see in a job application.
strength
Your letter includes personal experience and the specifics of your past roles, which is relevant to the position you are applying for.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • application
  • advertisement
  • Human Resource Department
  • work experience
  • job position
  • relevant skills
  • professional background
  • responsibilities
  • transferable skills
  • industry knowledge
  • interview
  • candidate
  • consideration
  • enthusiasm
  • achievements
  • career development
  • professional growth
  • alignment
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