IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The given bar chart shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age group who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevent.

The given bar chart shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age group who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevent.
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The bar chart
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 information about the
rate
Use synonyms
 of people doing
routinely
Change the word
routine
show examples
 exercise
according to
Linking Words
 their
age
Use synonyms
 and gender in the year 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, most
women
Use synonyms
 were more physically active than
men
Use synonyms
,
although
Linking Words
 young
women
Use synonyms
 showed
lower
Add an article
a lower
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
 of regular
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
show examples
 than
men
Use synonyms
. As
men
Use synonyms
 increased in
age
Use synonyms
 their activity
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
compared to
Use synonyms
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
 rates. Young
men
Use synonyms
 aged between 15 to 24
years
Use synonyms
 old had the highest physical activity
rate
Use synonyms
 than other
men
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
 their
age
Use synonyms
, as they had the highest
rate
Use synonyms
 52.3% and
this
Linking Words
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 has declined to 42.2% in 25 to 34
years
Use synonyms
 old.
Then
Linking Words
, it reduced to the lowest
rate
Use synonyms
 39.5% in 35 to 44
years
Use synonyms
 old. After that, the
rate
Use synonyms
 has increased to 45.1% and 46% in 55 to 64 and 65 and older.
Use synonyms
Women
Change noun form
Women's
show examples
Use synonyms
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
 were increasing with
age
Use synonyms
 as they had
Use synonyms
rate
Add an article
a rate
show examples
 of 47.7% in the youngest group and
Use synonyms
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
 has improved
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 to 48.9%, 52.2 %, 53.3%, and 53 % in 25 to 34, 35 to 44, 45 to 54, and 55 to 64
years
Use synonyms
 old.
Then
Linking Words
, decreased by
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
 of 65 and above to the lowest
rate
Use synonyms
47.1
Change preposition
of 47.1
show examples
%

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words rate, age, women, men, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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