IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house). The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house). The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The tables illustrate
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
 of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
house works
Correct your spelling
housework
show examples
 in two categories, in which, the first
table
Use synonyms
 includes
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 who do
Use synonyms
house works
Correct your spelling
housework
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the other shows how much
time
Use synonyms
 they
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
.
According to
Linking Words
tables
Correct article usage
the tables
show examples
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 more
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 do cooking rather than other
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
,
also
Linking Words
, they spend more
time
Use synonyms
 on that.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 of them do
house
Use synonyms
 repairs and do it less than other activities. Noticing
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
table
Use synonyms
, it is obvious that more percentage of
women
Use synonyms
 do
houseworks
Correct your spelling
housework
. Alternatively, more than 80 per cent of them cook and more than 60 per cent of them do
house
Use synonyms
 cleaning activities,
while
Linking Words
 these numbers for
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
 is only 60 and 40 per cent.
However
Linking Words
, males are
leader
Fix the agreement mistake
leaders
show examples
 for pet
cares
Fix the agreement mistake
care
show examples
 and
house
Use synonyms
 repair.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
table
Use synonyms
 evidences that
overall
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
 spent in household activities is regarded
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
women
Use synonyms
.
Furthurmore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, likely the
last
Linking Words
table
Use synonyms
, they spend more than 80
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of their daily
time
Use synonyms
 on cooking and cleaning,
while
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 do more
house
Use synonyms
 repairs.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they do pet
cares
Correct subject-verb agreement
care
show examples
 as much as
men
Use synonyms
 do.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words house, table, men, women, time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "tables" was used 6 times.
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