IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays managers and team leaders in different organizations are much younger compared to the past. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, there are a lot of young generations become leaders in several industries,
while
Linking Words
 in the past, the managers were almost always seniors.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is a negative situation and
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the specific reasons for
this
Linking Words
 growth. There are some reasons for
this
Linking Words
 condition.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the youth now has higher education,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is different compared to the past.
Secondly
Linking Words
, many companies recruit new employees with conditions of age limit. They prefer to choose the younger citizens.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, several leaders should have these requirements,
such
Linking Words
 as age, background education, and high knowledge.
In addition
Linking Words
, the juniors are faster at work. They
also
Linking Words
 can adapt to sophisticated technology. So it leads to more recruitment of younger people as supervisors
instead
Linking Words
 of the fact that they do not have any experience
to direct
Change preposition
in directing
show examples
company
Correct article usage
a company
show examples
. The conditions make several industries prefer to employ younger
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
management teams, even as the executive vice president
due to
Linking Words
 their worth.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, unfortunately, the youth often has minimum experience.
However
Linking Words
,
historiy
Correct your spelling
history
 is important to be a leader, because a leader needs soft competence to make a decision. For profile, the elder people must have good qualifications,
although
Linking Words
 their salary is much higher than the juniors. They have good educations and very good life stories to develop their skills. They can manage their teams well, and make wise decisions for their jobs. They are good planners for the long-term planning of a company. In conclusion, it is a negative development. Recruiters should give priority to candidates on the basis of all skills and requirements to be a leader.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Clarify your main argument in the introduction by stating your opinion clearly. For example, you could say, 'This essay argues that the trend of younger leaders is detrimental.'
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and phrases more consistently to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. For example, use 'Furthermore' or 'Moreover' to introduce additional points.
task achievement
Provide specific examples or case studies to support your points about the experience of older leaders versus younger ones. This will enhance your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay presents a clear structure with separate paragraphs for reasons and arguments against younger leaders, which helps in maintaining coherence.
task achievement
You have identified important reasons for the increase in younger leaders, such as higher education and recruitment practices, which is a good start.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Advanced education
  • Early career development
  • Technological advancements
  • Digital revolution
  • Organizational structures
  • Innovation
  • Creativity
  • Adaptability
  • Productivity
  • Competitive
  • Global markets
  • Multicultural team dynamics
  • Generational differences
  • Suboptimal decision-making
  • Rapid promotion
  • Traditional managerial skills
What to do next:
Look at other essays: